Thursday, August 31, 2006

Tabu's New Mystery Man

It isn't often that I get exclusive scoop on a Bollywood celebrity, but now that I've got it, I've just got to share.

I recently learned from a friend, whose friend is friends with Tabu, that Tabu is currently dating an Italian-American guy in New York City. They met while she was in town filming Mira Nair's The Namesake, a film in which she plays Kal Penn's mother. The pair are really close and she seems really happy with him. My friend actually met Tabu a few weeks ago and said she's a great girl and really down to earth, but she chain smokes like mad. No other word on who the mystery guy is or what he does for a living, but best of luck to Tabu. But she really should lay off those cigs. The girl's got pretty skin and the cigarettes are just going to ruin it.

More Shit from TomKat

Until now, the craziest thing TomKat had done was expressing a desire to eat Suri's placenta. But this next stunt tops them all. They have actually bronzed Suri's first poop. No shit. The bronzed turd is going to be on display in a museum in Brooklyn next week on September 8th, so if you are in the area you might be able to see this piece of shit first hand. For the rest of us that can't make the trip, this is what the sculpture looks like.

If you stare at it long enough, it begins to look like a baby cobra with its tail cut off.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Odd Couple

So US Weekly says these two are dating. I don't think it's true. Aside from these two looking completely wrong with each other, John Mayer doesn't exactly fit Jessica's "type". Her type is usually tall, lean, and muscular with lots of spikey hair . I think the only reason this slut is hooking up with a dorky guy like John is because her career is going down the drain and she needs the publicity. For all we know, her Pimp Daddy Joe probably arranged the whole 'Public Affair' himself.

Crash Test Dummy

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since I've updated but I have several excuses of why I've been absent from the blog.

It all started last Wednesday when I noticed my son had burst a blood vessel in his eye. It looked like his eye was bleeding internally, yet he felt no pain and no itching from it. I observed him through breakfast, and he was acting completely normal, eating and playing like he does everyday. Still, just to be safe, I called his pediatrician, who said I had to bring him in immediately to make sure he didn't accidentally scratch his cornea. So off we went, in our new SUV (we traded in the bug mobile for an SUV, more on this later), to the pediatrician's office. The doctor said my son should be fine, that he might have bumped into something or maybe one of his sisters accidentaly hit his eye, but the eye would heal on its own within a few days. Cornea was saved, but my son was told to be careful of falling on his face and not to rough house with his sisters. Next stop, McDonald's for lunch.

Everyone ordered a Happy Meal simply to pull the toy out and play with it. I had to remind them they were there to eat lunch and it was going to be nap time once we got home. My son scarfed down his nuggets meal with no problem, but the girls had to be coaxed to eat something. If you've ever been to McDonald's with three kids who think it's more fun to run around the place and fight over who has the best toy rather than eat, you know it can take a toll on you mentally. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was tired and ready for a nap myself. Even though we had only been out for about 3 hours, it felt like I was out all day. As I pulled into the driveway, I slowed down to admire my neighbor's new landscaping. She has such a knack for gardening and had planted some new flowers this month. "Wow," I thought, "What pretty flowers," and then suddenly.....


While I was admiring my neighbor's flowers like a drunken bufoon, I hadn't realized I had ruined the angle at which I was entering my pint-sized, new construction garage. I crashed the right passenger side of our new SUV into the side of the garage. "Oh no!", I thought, "the husband is going to freak!" We just got the new SUV a few weeks ago and already I had crashed it. When I reversed to pull out of the garage and correct my entrance angle, I managed to pull the bracket that the wheels of our garage door travel on to open and close the door out of the wall! The bracket had gotten stuck with the mudflap over the right tire, and I reversed with such force, the bracket didn't hold a chance.

I was in huge trouble. My son was delighted in the backseat saying, "Wow Mama, you crashed the car just like the crash test dummies in the BMW dvd."

I managed to bring the car into the garage and close the garage door. When you looked along the bottom of it, it looked like it was closed at an angle and not flush with the floor, but I hoped the husband wouldn't notice. While I was putting the kids down for a nap, I decided I would break the news to the husband in an e-mail rather than tell him over the phone.

As I composed the e-mail, the husband called my cell. My son saw the caller id and said, "It's Abu!" and grabbed my phone. "No! Don't answer it!" I begged him, but it was too late. My son answered the phone and says, "Abu, today Mama did a BIG CRASH with the car..."

I grabbed the phone from him before he could say anymore. My husband asked what R. was talking about and I said, "Oh, I accidentally hit his big wheel in the driveway, nothing happened," and for the time being he bought it. I decided to abort the e-mail confession. I managed to make it through dinner without the husband noticing the lopsided garage door and had already dreamed up a plan to hire a handyman to fix the garage door bracket while my husband was at work. The car wasn't visibly damaged so I wasn't even worried about that. Only when you looked really hard, you could see the mudflap was dislodged and not flush with the car. But the truth had to come out when I decided to leave for the gym that night after dinner and the garage door wouldn't close. The wheel had fallen out of the bracket and I couldn't push it back in. I was busted and had no choice but to confess.

So I went back inside the house and did what I do best, I started to cry. Husband asked what was wrong, and I said I was soooo sorry, but I was tired and the flowers were so pretty I got distracted and I accidentally crashed the car into the garage and now, the garage door won't close and is broken. His concern was more for the car, but he went outside to check out the damage for himself. He was angry but as he started work on fixing the garage door he calmed down. The next day, he took the SUV to a shady mechanic who would fix the car for him for $3,000 less than the dealer would (total damage was $4,000 according to the dealer, but the shady guy would fix it for a grand).

So the car is fixed now and so is the garage. And I swear the crying really helped because it was hard for him to yell at me for being irresponsible while I was crying. I was genuinely sorry too. Saturday morning we got our car back, and my husband said, "Okay, it's fixed, but the mechanic said not to look at the neighbhor's flowers when you are pulling into the driveway." And the husband has also requested that I not attempt to park the car inside the garage anymore. He doesn't want to take anymore risks. It's fine with me, I hate the garage. I think these new construction cardboard houses really jip people with space where they need them most. Small bedrooms, small garages, what ever happend to the old country style houses I grew up in, the kind that had a garage so big you could park a boat in it? When my husband and I were looking for a new house two years ago, the old 70's style home we wanted needed a huge amount of work, as in complete bathroom remodel and a complete update into the year 2000. This house we live in now is about 10 years old and needed only a paint job, but I hate the size of the rooms and the especially hate the garage. I want a garage that is wide enough to accomodate a minivan without worrying about brushing against the sides of the wall. I want the whole family to be able to get out of the car while inside the garage without having to be careful of hitting the wall with the opening of the car door.

Not only that, this weekend we found out all the towel rods and toilet paper holders are falling out of the wall. I'm not saying we would have fared much better with the fixer upper 70's house we were looking at, but you would think if a house is relatively new, it would at least hold up a little better. There are times I think K.Hov builds their houses out of cardboard.

Other than that, I've been busy with family visiting from out of town. We've been attending a wedding here that has had several pre-wedding parties with a grand finale that is to happen this weekend. One of the parties I went to was a "Dholki" Friday night. In the South Asian culture, this is the night were women get together and sing wedding songs while someone plays a drum ("dholki") and another girl bangs a spoon on that drum. It's almost like live karoake, except you provide the background music yourself and everyone sings at the same time. It was one of the lamest dholkis I have been to in a while. The girls were nice, a few were super excited to be there and sing a song with everyone, but it was their choice of songs that drove me crazy. Jai Jai Jive Shankar, Daffli Wala, they were busting out all the oldies. It's freakin' 2006, why do some girls still think they need to sing the songs they sung when their aunts were getting married in 1979? Or before most of them were even born? I don't know, but I didn't suggest any new songs because I didn't want to cause any trouble. These girls loved their oldies, who was I to burst their time bubble?

I'm just the girl who crashes into garages while admiring flowers. The irony of all of this is that before this happened, I was ready to come here and blog about how my son wanted to be a BMW crash test dummy when he grows up. Because he likes their costumes and they get to crash in a BMW and it looks like so much fun to him. And now, he wants to be a carpenter. I'm glad I was able to show him the dangers of being a crash test dummy and help change his future career goal without pressuring him too much.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Star Secrets to be rolled out as Star Confessions

I can't believe Loreal went back on their word. I e-mailed them a few months ago about when the Star Secrets line would be rolled out in the U.S. , and I received a very curt e-mail from them saying there were no plans to introduce the line in the United States. Then yesterday, I pick up this month's copy of Allure, and there, on page 82, is a little quip that talks about how Loreal's Star Confessions lipsticks (they changed the name slightly) are going to be a hot new item for fall beauty. Was rolling the line out in the U.S. a last minute decision? I guess I'll never know the answer to that. But what I do know from sampling the Aishwarya Beige and Eva Longoria shades from this line is that the lipsticks are absolutely not worth it. Test a few shades on your hand to see for yourself. The colors are now available wherever Loreal lipsticks are sold, and retail for about $8.50.

More Toilet Humour

This picture was just too hilarious not to share! I don't think you need to know Arabic to figure out the message here. That goofy grin is simply priceless.

Monday, August 21, 2006

How To Use a Public Ladies Room 101

I continue to be amazed at how badly some women abuse public toilets. I did a little Google search to see if there was some "how to" guide on the net that could teach the bathroom impaired how to use a public toilet in America and leave it clean for the next person, and all I came up with was an article that explained The Art of Hover-Pissing (don't worry, the link is clean). This doesn't help matters much because I think half the problem in the public toilets is caused by hover pissers. There are very few women who have perfected this art of hovering over a toilet to pee, and there are even fewer women who actually clean the seat after they are done ruining it for the rest of us.

I personally don't believe in hover-pissing. If this is what you intend to do when you go to the ladies room, I think you should proceed towards the exit of the building and go squat behind the bushes outside. There really is no difference. When you hover-piss in a public toilet, chances are you are going to get the pee everywhere except where it belongs, in the toilet bowl, so please just stop doing this.

Short of starting a grassroots movement of WAHP (Women Against Hover-Pissing), I have decided to take it upon myself and write a "how to guide" of using a public toilet. Don't fear the toilet seat ladies, a recent 20/20 report revealed that the toilet seat is actually the cleanest part of the bathroom after the sink. There are more germs on your cubicle's desktop than there are on that seat. Most public bathroom facilities in office buildings and malls have a janitorial staff that cleans the bathroom everyday, and if we all just followed the bathroom etiquette rules I propose below, we could all enjoy a more pleasant and cleaner bathroom experience outside our homes. Especially those of us who are germaphobic and frequent the facilities with little children in tow.

Basic Guide to Using a Ladies Room

Step 1: Enter stall and close the door behind you. Hang your purse on the hook or place on a purse shelf (if provided). If there is no hook or shelf, hang it in the top corner crack of the bathroom door where the door meets the stall. The 20/20 report I linked above said the dirtiest part of a public bathroom is the floor, and you don't want to carry home the entire world's fecal mess on your handbag.

Step 2: Line the toilet seat with a seat liner. If no seat liner is available, use toilet paper. Use a long strip to cover the right and left side of the seat and a small one to cover the middle area in the front of the seat. Now you are ready to SIT DOWN and do your business.

Step 3: Clean yourself up and throw all the toilet paper in the toilet, not on the floor. Sanitary Napkins should be rolled in toilet paper and placed in the trash bin, not in the toilet.

Step 4: If you have made a mess on the seat despite having a liner, be kind and wipe it up with toilet paper. Throw the toilet paper in the toilet, not on the floor.

Step 5: Flush the toilet. If you are too afraid to touch the handle, use toilet paper as a barrier. Otherwise, use your foot to depress the flush handle. Over time, after you have gotten into the practice of flushing the toilet with your foot, you will notice an increase in your balance and agility.

We're not done yet.......

Step 6: After you have flushed and made sure the seat is just as clean as you found it, and is clean for the next person who will need to use the bathroom, slide your bag over your arm and proceed to the sink to wash your hands. And no, a two second rinse with water doesn't count. I request that you use soap and water and lather up your hands and rinse them under the water until all the soap is gone and your hands are clean. Dry your hands with the paper towels. The hot air blow dryer for your hands is unnecessary for germphobes, they redeposit germified bathroom air onto your hands. If you have happend upon a place that does not have soap, reach into your purse and use an antibacterial hand sanitizer. If you are a hardcore germphobe, you probably carry a travel size of these things with you at all times anyway.

Step 7: Use the paper towel you dried your hands with or the bottom of your shirt lapel to open the door handle to exit the bathroom. I know the 20/20 report said it is okay to touch the handle commando, but I continue to see hoards of women walk out of toilets without stopping at the sink to wash their hands. Or if they do stop at the sink, it's to rinse their hands under the water for two seconds and they don't use soap. It's so gross. So stay protected and use a paper towel to open that door!

Well, that's it girls. Seven steps to a cleaner bathroom experience. Because in the words of the great Samuel L. Jackson, enough is enough. I have had it with the motherfucking piss on the motherfucking toilet seats.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

When Bad Extensions Happen to Good People

Whoever did Urmila's hair here needs go back to beauty school. Those have got to be the fakest hair extensions I've ever seen. For all that is good and holy in this world, we need to stop letting hairstylists get away with the awful crime of putting curly hair extensions on brushed out wavy hair. This is just wrong, and it has to stop. Period.


How Jessica Got Her Butt Toned

I can't believe I've spent the last 20 minutes on The Bastardly looking at pictures of Jessica Biel working out, but yes ladies and gentleman, the verdict is in. Jessica didn't buy that hot booty at the J.Lo Store. She did like, 10 MILLION SQUATS AND LUNGES and worked her ass off on the sidewalks of L.A. with her trainer to get that butt. Now that's dedication.

Resistance band were involved. Girlfriend did some serious squats here.

Who cares that her pants are on inside out, her butt looks great. Seriously, I want what Jessica has. I just need to get off my flat, lazy, Asian ass and do some squats and lunges. Well, not really some. More like, ALOT.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Jessica's Wonder Butt

I want to know what Jessica Biel did to get toned all over but still have a butt like this. I don't think it's that bad really, I think it's healthy looking, but seriously, I want to know how that got big and the rest of her didn't.

Brad Pitt at Las Vegas Airpot

Here are some pics of Brad Pitt at Las Vegas Airpot a while ago. I don't know what I find more fascinating, the fact that he flies commercial, or that he looks absolutely gorgeous in white pants!

(Click to Enlarge, you know you want to!)


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Suhali Locket MM Bag

Move over YSL Muse, this Suhali Locket MM bag by Louis Vuitton has just moved to the top of my Lust List for fall. It's made of goat leather from the "highest quality goat skins" (I wonder who validates the quality of goat skins, sounds like a rough job) and comes with the signature LV zip top closure and padlock (in case anyone tried to break into my purse without knowing.)

Actually, I'm finally realizing the need for padlocks on purses these days. The genius designers at Louis Vuitton saw the need before I did. My Speedy came with a padlock and I had no clue why it was there. But now that my twins have been getting into my purse and have been throwing the coins from my wallet down the air conditioning ducts, throwing credit cards and all the contents of my purse around the room, not to mention trying on and destroying the lipsticks I keep in my purse, this padlock idea is becoming very appealing. Now if I could just manage to find a good hiding place for the key to the padlock (without forgetting it myself), I think I will finally have a solution to my daily purse raid problem.

Although this luscious white bag and padlock will probably never make it into my home due to the hefty price tag, it is available at eLuxury for $2,470.

How Your Hair Part Reflects Your Personality

Did you hear about the guy who went from geek to chic overnight, simply by changing the side he parted his hair? It's true.

John Walter was a self-professed computer nerd who instantly gained about 150 friends and an active social life with the "in" crowd after changing his hair part from the right to the left. Does it sound unbelievable? Until I read THIS ARTICLE that explains the hair part theory, I was skeptical, but the theory is highly plausible.

According to the article linked above, The Hair Part Theory goes like this: A left hair part draws unconscious attention to the left side of the brain, which controls activities traditionally associated with masculinity. A right hair part draws unconscious attention to the right side of the brain, which controls activities traditionally associated with femininity.

The theory seems to apply more to men because they usually part their hair the same way their whole life. The theory also applies to women, but to a lesser degree, because women might change their hair styles many times.

A man who parts his hair on the right and wants acceptance in a traditionally male role is at risk, the theory goes, because he sends a mixed message when he emphasizes the right, or feminine, side of the brain.

A woman who parts her hair on the left and wants acceptance in a traditionally male role - business, for example, or politics - will be taken more seriously than a woman with a right part.

There has been a theory floating around the internet that one of the main reasons Al Gore lost the presidential election in 2000 was because he parts his hair on the right, and was perceived to be a weak leader. Even though the entire universe knew George W. Bush was a moron, he parts his hair on the left and gave people the impression he was better suited to be a leader.

"L" for Left, "L" for Leader

The article also sites Superman as an example. When Christopher Reeves plays the nerdy Clark Kent in the movie, he parts his hair on the right.

But when he turns into Superman, he parts his hair on the left. Coincidence? I think not.

It seems parting your hair on the right works mostly against men seeking careers in politics or traditionally male roles. Men with right parts are usually in artistic or creative fields.

When it comes to women and their hair parts, it really doesn't matter unless you are trying to make it big in business or politics. In that case, a woman should always part her hair on the left. Hilary Rodham Clinton did, and her left part helped her win the seat for New York Senator even though she had never lived in the state before running.

You want to know what else I find fascinating? Before King Abdullah assumed the throne as King of Jordan, Queen Rania used to part her hair on the left.

Rania as Princess

After she went from being an outspoken Princess to becoming Queen of Jordan, she changed her part to the right, perhaps to send a subtle message that she is the feminine side of the power couple, and to let her husband shine as King. Go ahead, test this theory for yourself. Do a Google search for "Princess Rania" and "Queen Rania" images, and see for yourself how when she was in her "princess" days, she had a left part, and when she became "Queen" she changed her part to the right. Spooky, isn't it?

Rania as Queen

As to how this theory relates to me, I have to say that I part my hair on the left mainly because I have a quirky cowlic and thinning hair on my right side. I have more body and lift when I part it on the left. I could do center parts sometimes too, but I'm more comfortable on the left. No wonder I had an easy time working as an auditor, I had the perfect part for the business field. My kids all have a natural part on the right side as well, and this is okay for the girls, but unconciously, after reading this article, I had started to train my son's part to be on the left. Like most parents I want him to be successful one day, and I didn't want his hair part to negatively influence his career choice. Then I realized, the only way it would negatively affect his career would be if he chose a career in business or politics, it wouldn't have much influence on him if he were to go towards the artistic fields. After all, Al Gore finally found his niche in the creative field with An Inconvenient Truth, where his hair part actually worked for him, not against him. Since I'm not going to be one of those parents that picks out their child's career for them beginning in kindergarten, I decided to just make life easier and gave him a buzz cut. Now he has no part, which according to the article, helps a person be perceived as balanced, trustworthy, and wise, but also, lacking the flair of right or left parters. But it works for us. He's got incredibly wavy hair, and if it grows beyond one inch, it starts turning into a bee hive. Buzz cuts are easier to manage for him (and my supertstitous neurosis).

If you want to read more about The Hair Part Theory and what is says about your personality, Click Here for the Full Article.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Latest Suri Sighting

"Greetings, Earthlings!"

Suri Cruise has made her first public appearance at a birthday party for Will Smith's son. Her arrival took all the limelight away from the birthday boy, as everyone crowded around Katie and Tom to take a look at the infamous baby.

Some sources who spoke to the British tabloid The Sun said the child had no deformities and actually resembled Tom Cruise with dark, curly hair. No word on whether the baby was human.

photo source

Monday, August 14, 2006

Kim Stewart, The Barefoot Hollywood Hooker

Pssst. I know who Kim Stewart's stylist is.

It's Ice T's wife, Loco Coco.

Lindsay Lohan, The Braless Wonder

What is it about Hollywood "It" Girls and their aversion to bras?

Not only is L.Lo wearing what seems to be a potato sack,

She forgot to wear a bra! Holy Hell!

Z100 is New York's Sexy Back Station (Now give me my MP3!)

This weekend, I finally converted the husband into a Justin Timberlake fan. I kept telling him about how my new favorite song is Sexy Back, from Timberlake's new album Future Sex/Love Sounds. The song is raunchy as hell, like a mix between Nine Inch Nails and techno rave music, but it's catchy, and I love it.

So it was playing on Z100 this weekend, and when the song came on I told my husband, "Listen to this," as I turned up the volume, "THIS, is Sexy Back."

He listened to it a little bit and said, "This is dumb, it's just the same tune over and over again. Who is this guy?"

I told him it was Justin Timberlake, and he replied, "Oh that dumb wuss from that boy band? He's so dumb."

"Maybe. But he's grown up now, and he's grown a beard to look older, " I said, "and he's going out with Cameron Diaz."

"Oh that girl from Something About Mary?" he asked.

"Yes," I told him. What was it about dating Cameron Diaz that suddenly made JT look like a man in my husband's eyes? And made him realize that this "wuss" probably can sing after all?

Anyway, the husband was hooked on this song. Five minutes after the song was over and the station was playing that stupid "Buttons" song by the Pussycat Dolls for the umpteenth time, my husband couldn't get that tune or the phrase "Getch yo sexy on," out of his head. He had to hear it again, as did I. And for some strange cosmic reason, Z100 was playing this song at least five times an hour.

So the entire weekend, we've been listening to this song whenever we've been in the car. And we still haven't gotten sick of it. Even though the album won't be released until September, I was hoping I could download the mp3 for this song from the net. I tried all the usual suspects, iTunes,, and Cool Toad, but no one has this song. (Actually, Cool Toad had one copy, but it was a horribly botched copy, don't bother downloading that.) I did a Google search for the Sexy Back mp3 and keep getting redirected to porn sites. Porn sites where you get to listen to the actual song but porn pop-up ads flash all over your computer screen. Not really what I was looking for there. If anyone out there knows where to get a good copy of this mp3, preferably a legal way, without getting flooded with porn on your computer, please let me know.

photo source: Justin Timberlake.Org

Friday, August 11, 2006

Sleepless in Jersey

Hello bloggers, I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I've been taking a few days off to try to reconnect with my kids, get some housework done, and try to get some...SLEEP. My kids have discovered now that whenever I open my computer during the day, I'm not going to talk to them for at least an hour, and they start smacking the laptop or tearing the house apart to get my attention. My son, who you all know is their spokesperson, has started saying, "Are you blogging again? I hate your blogging, just get off the computer, we want to go outside." Yes, I can't wait until pre-school starts in the fall.

Other than that, I've been trying to overcome the insomnia I have developed. About eight months ago, I started this blog late at night, around 3 am, when my kids kept waking up and coming into my room. I stayed awake and surfed the net while I waited for them to go back to sleep in my bed, so I could carry them back to their rooms. Over the course of the next couple of months, I usually blogged when they took their daytime nap, but now they have gotten older and don't nap anymore, so I started to steal little pockets of time during the day to blog. Recently, because I couldn't satsify my computer addiction during the day, I had started to stay up late at night after the kids had gone to sleep to blog and surf the net, and would get stuck on the computer until 3 am. When I would finally realize how late it was and get off the computer to get some sleep, I would suddenly look at the clock, realize it's 3 am, and couldn't sleep out of sheer fear that I might see see a demon. Wait a minute, hear me out, I'm not crazy (not in the certifiable sense anyway), but one night when the kids had gone to bed, and my husband was sleeping, I was awake, and decided to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose on television, which was a BAD IDEA. Never watch a horror flick in the middle of the night, when all the lights are off and you are the only one awake. It will scare the shit out of you. Especially when I saw in the movie that 3 am was the 'witching hour' where all the demons come out and play. Damn it. I know there probably isn't any truth to it, but the thought is scary enough to put fear into you when all the lights in the house are off, and you are the only one awake.

So now, I've been making it a point not to open my laptop at night, and only watch the news (which these days is just as terryifying as the movie) or some Food Network program before I go to bed. I've also started doing Pilates. Regularly. Every night. And I've found I've lost two inches off my waist in two months. The progress hasn't been as fast as some people on the Winsor Pilates testimonials, but it's progress. What also helped is that I've started eating Kashi Go Lean cereal every morning for breakfast. It takes a while to get used the cardboard taste of the cereal, but it really helps get rid of the excess bloat many people mistake for belly fat. (10 grams of fiber in a bowl a day has worked wonders on jump starting my weight loss too, I've lost 2 more pounds in two weeks.)

I'm writing this post right now as my kids are watching the The Lion King DVD. This movie is great, you can watch it a thousand times and still get interested enough to watch it through the end, even though you know what's going to happen. The whole movie plays out like an 80's Bollywood film, actually. Evil uncle trying to attain power, kills the king, the king's son goes into exile only to return 20 years later a young man, and fights his uncle to the end to get the throne back. Meanwhile there's a song and dance routine with his childhood girlfriend, who grows up to be his wife. In the end, the son wins the final fight (there's always a final fight), and they all live happily ever after.

Anyway, today I'm going to take the kids to meet Hello Kitty at Toys R Us, and this weekend we're going to a water park. I'll get back to some more blogging about gossip, fashion, and life next week. Have a nice weekend, ya'll!

UPDATE: I have updated the link for the Winsor Pilates DVD's I've been using. The ones currently available are a little expensive and I haven't used them. I've been using the original set I bought back in 2003 from Target, the Winsor Pilates 3 DVD Total Body Sculpting Workout Set. From this set, I only do the 20 minute Basic workout. I don't have time for anything more than that. From the reviews I've read, the new series uses a circle for the same exercises, but don't buy this new set just for the magic circle. An inexpensive 6 to 8 inch diameter ball (not a soccer ball, but rather the brightly colored plastic balls you find at the supermarket or Toys R Us) can be substituted for the magic circle. You should be able to squeeze the ball a little bit to incorporate resistance into the Pilates exercises. (I learned this from reading Pilates for Dummies.)

Also, the directions on the original DVD set say that you should do Pilates three times a week to get results, but I've found that if I make it a point to do the exercises every night before bed, I do them more regularly, at least four or five times a week. Also, if I feel tired and skip a day, I don't feel so bad because I'll just try again tomorrow. When I tried to do Pilates only three times a week, I ended up doing it only once or twice every two weeks, so making it a daily "to do" has kept me on track much better. Also, I don't wait until my kids go to sleep to do this. I was doing that in the beginning and would end up getting frustrated when they wouldn't sleep and I couldn't get time to do the exercises. So I decided to do the exercises while they were awake, right after I get them ready for bed. I've memorized the routine by now, so many times I just put the Lion King DVD on for them, or some recorded Noggin show, and they sit on the bed and watch that while I do Pilates on the floor. At first they would jump on my tummy but then they started copying me and would do some of the exercises with me. My kids make the reverse crunches look so easy. I wish I had that mindset again. For them it's fun, they're not worried about maintaining proper form and counting reps, it's just natural to them. Actually, I've started learning alot about fitness from them. They don't care whether they've been walking for 20 minutes at 3 mph, they're just walking or running for the fun of it.

But do try the 20 minute Basic Workout DVD if you're interested in getting a tighter tummy. If a lazy ass like me can find time to do it, you can too.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Look Who's Out and About

Sometimes I think Britney dresses up like White Trash Pregnant Barbie on purpose. She's got money, she could dress better if she wanted to, but she seems to be extremely infatuated with the whole white trash theme. White trash husband, white trash clothes, all she needs now is her own trailer in the trailer park.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Hot Link of the Day

I encourage everyone to visit Keda's site and read her post about her feelings about the Mid-East crisis. She has expressed what I have been feeling as a mother perfectly. I love you Keda!

Happy, Fuzzy, Goodtimes, YAY!

Friday, August 04, 2006

What Happens When a Four Year Old Grabs a Cell Phone

While the girls are still using my cell phone as a toy, my four year old son has figured out how it actually works. He has learned how to read a little bit, and can recognize all the names of his relatives in my address book. When he wants to call someone and talk to them, he pulls up their name out of the address book and presses the SEND button. I find it fascinating because he hasn't really learned how to properly read a book yet, but he has memorized what certain combinations of letters spell, mainly his own name and the names of his relatives and friends. It started when he started recognizing E-L-M-O spells Elmo. I think he treats the words and names in my address book more as logos than words, but oh well. It's good to know in case of an emergency, he'll be able to use my cell phone to call for help.

Until then, he calls people up to have mindless conversations with them. He's obsessed with cars, so his topic of conversation always revolves around BMWs (his dream car). My husband got him one of those free information DVD's that explains how a BMW works, the specs, and shows the crash safety tests with the crash test dummies sitting in the car (the video wanted to explain how safe the car was.) He is intrigued by this video and watches it as regularly as Blues Clues.

My son's daily targets for conversation are my husband, my sister, and my brother. Occasionally, he will call my mom, but only if he wants her to buy him a gift. He's getting really spoiled by his grandparents, I wish I could tell them to stop getting him toys, but it makes my parents happy to give him and my girls gifts, so I'll let it go for awhile.

So the other day, my brother was picked as the target of the day for conversation. I was folding laundry upstairs and my son picks up the phone and dials my brother. My son knows from overhearing my conversations with my brother that he has been having serious car trouble lately. Until his car gets fixed by the mechanic, he has been forced to ride his bike from his off-campus apartment to his college under the hot Florida sun.

R. was concerned, so decided he would call up his uncle and give him some advice. This is what he said:

R: "Hello, Mamoo? Hi. It's R. I heard your car broke down, why don't you just go buy a Toyota Yaris? It gets 40 miles to the gallon."

My brother: "I can't R., I don't have the money."

R: "Well, why don't you just return this car and go buy a BMW? Then you won't have to ride your bike to school and faint in the sun."

My brother: "BMW?? That's really expensive R, I can't afford that."

R continues: "But the crash test dummies were in the car and were okay after hitting the wall. It has a DVD burner in it too."

(The volume on my cell phone is high and all I can hear now is my brother chuckling on the other end)

R. turns serious, and says, "Look Mamoo, you're not listening to me, I'm telling you something. You need to go buy a BMW, because you need a car, and you need a BMW okay? A BMW X5. So go buy one. Now study hard and do well in school. Goodbye."

Scenes from the 'Corporate' Bash

Here are a few pics from a bash that was held for Bipasha's new film Corporate.
(btw, I'm loving this new site, it's like Bollywood's version of E!Online.)

"Seriously yaar, I was supposed to shower and dress up for this party?"

What's happened to John Abraham over the years? Not only does he look manorexic, he is in despereate need of a shower, shave, and a haircut. And a nice suit. Why on earth is he wearing t-shirt and jeans to a fancy event? Is that why he's throttling himself in this photo?

Ah, my (ahem) favorite actress and John's girlfriend, Bipasha Basu at the podium. The placement of that microphone is a little....well, I won't go there. My sister thinks I'm getting a little too catty here lately, so I'll spare her. But Bipasha's new hair is looking really nice and the necklace is rockin'. And for anyone interested, you can get that lipstick look by wearing MAC Taupe with a sparkly pearl lipgloss like MAC Oyster Girl.

Oh, and who do we have here? Blast from the past, Poonam was there too. And OMG, she's wearing the fugliest sari I've ever seen. Poonam jee, do you not have Manish Malhotra's phone number? Please call him. He'll make sure you never look like Rainbow Brite's throw-up again.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Barbara Walters Give Elizabitch a SmackDown

Stupid little Elizabitch decided to open her mouth and go bonkers about the morning after pill on The View yesterday.

Watch the clip HERE.

Things got so intense, Barabara had to give her a lesson about how she needed to control her emotions and let other people have a chance to say something about the topic. Barbara showed great restraint, and articulately made her point without saying what everyone else was thinking, "Shut up, bitch."

After the commercial break, they kissed and made up on the couch, (lest we think this show was finally going to give us the bitch fight we've all been waiting for) while Joy Behar and guest co-host Lisa Loeb rolled their eyes at each other and muttered "OMFGawd!" under their breath.