Friday, December 15, 2006

Watch the Wiggles Pump It

I know I'm on a Wiggles kick lately, but I can't help it. Once I showed my kids the freaky puppet video, they asked to see more Wiggles, and a couple of links later, I found this gem.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I Dread Goody Bags

I'm really beginning to dread the end of the birthday parties when the hostess hands out goody bags to all the children. It's not that I don't want my children to receive a gift for being at the party, I fear what's inside.

Just this weekend, my friend Noshi held a birthday party for her daugher's 4th birthday. When the kids are as young as ours, the whole family is usually invited. I remember looking at her neatly arranged, personalized, and decorated goody bags with extreme trepidation. My first thought was, "Wow, she really put alot of work into decorating those bags, they look like something Martha Stewart would create for kids, ribbons and all." Noshi likes doing that kind of stuff, and I have nothing against that, some moms like to put time into extra touches and decorations, and others (like me) don't. The only thing I was hoping for was that there was NO candy in those goody bags. My kids had already skipped the pizza and made a meal out of the birthday cake, the last thing I wanted was to sugar them up more.

Honestly, I don't even care if my children get goody bags at birthday parties. When I was younger I don't remember ever going to a birthday party and coming back with anything more than a little plastic baggy with Reese's Peanut Butter cups and M&Ms. Maybe a few scratch n' sniff stickers if the parents were extra generous. Sometimes, there were no goody bags at all, and I was okay with that. After all, it wasn't my birthday, why should I get a gift for attending someone else's birthday?

But now, there seems to be a competition of sorts amongst moms as to who can pack and present the best goody bags. I'll be the first to admit, I'm lousy at making goody bags. I lack creativity in this department and have now resorted to just buying one or two little toys for each child attending and wrapping it or stuffing it into a bag. Nothing too expensive, I keep a budget of $3 to $5 per child and buy coloring kits or puzzles from Target or the Dollare Store. I don't have time to do things with ribbons, glue-guns, and construction paper. I'm sure I could make the time if I really wanted to, but I don't. I never saw goody bags as being that important as the food and activities at the party. But now that I've been working the birthday party circuit for a couple of years, I'm finding that the whole lasting impression of your party lies within your goody bag. If you hand out crap, people are going to walk away with the impression that your party sucked and you are cheap. If you go over the top, people will wonder if they gave your child a nice enough gift to deserve such a well-stocked goody bag. The hardest part about making a goody bag is finding that middle ground. We all know that kids will be happy to get anything, and they don't care whether the goody bag toys came from the Dollar Store or Toys R Us, it's the parents we are worried about pleasing. We want the parents to think we took the effort to write little Johnny's name on his bag and picked out a special gift just for him, no, make that 10 little gifts, and wait, there's candy too. What should be a special day to celebrate the birth of your child turns into an event riddled with performance anxiety.

I wish we could do away with goody bags altogether. Let's face it, moms have enough pressure to plan their child's birthday party and make sure junior eats his cake without ruining the little man's tuxedo your mother made him wear (or in my case, it was the little maharaja suit, complete with a turban fit for a prince). My first time, I didn't want to chance it and outsourced the goody bag making to Birthday Express. I got the Colorful Favor Boxes which looked nice, were budget friendly, and safe for all ages. Afterwards, I fell into the trap of handing out bags of candy, because that's what all the other moms were doing at their parties. Now, the latest trend I've seen is that the goody bags are stocked with not only candy, but toys, coloring books, crayons, you name it. Recently, my son received a remote controlled Ford Bronco in his goody bag. I was floored. This is the point when you think to yourself, did I give them a gift of equal or more value? I hope I did. At that birthday party I gave their 3-year-old birthday boy Diego's Talking Rescue Pack, I hope it was equivalent to the Bronco and the two dolls my girls received for attending the party.

So anyway, back to admiring my friend's neatly organized and personlized goody bags. What was inside? Well, the kids wasted no time pillaging them when we got home. All the kids got: a chalkboard activity set that looked like it cost at least $10, a measuring tape, a pencil, 8 permanent markers (why, Noshi, why?), a lollipop known as a Clicker Licker (once your done with the lollipop, you have a toy that makes clicking sounds when you shake it), an inflatable soccer ball (butterflies on a stick for the girls), a note pad, stickers, a key chain, a paddle with a ball attached to it by an elastic string, and a bag full of candy that included M&M's, a couple of Pixie sticks full of sugar, and a giant lollipop as big as the children's face (is there a child alive who can possibly eat a lollipop this big in one sitting? Is it even safe to eat that much sugar?) The only thing missing was a partridge in a pear tree.

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Well, the giant lollipops were licked twice and stuck to the carpet, the Pixie sticks were broken and sprinkled around the family room, and the permanent markers, holy hell, they opened all of them and started drawing pictures on their own legs, hands, arms, and tummies. While all this was happening, I was laying on the couch trying to rest and recover from attending the party. I hadn't slept much the night before and thought it would be a good idea to rest a bit while the children "played". By the time I noticed what had happened, the tatoo parlor the kids had opened up with the markers was in full swing. I initially got really mad looking at the mess, but then I realized, they're just kids. It's not their fault their Auntie Noshi went crazy over making goody bags and handed permanent markers to them (which I think is equivalent to handing car keys to a person who can't drive), and I really should have inspected the bag before I handed it to them, but oh well. I didn't get mad at them, I actually sat down to play with them. I'm always yelling at them for messes, it's time I started letting it go (I cleaned it up later). I drew pictures on their hands and my hands with the markers. Smiley faces, flowers, all that cheesey stuff. It's been a couple days since the event and the stains from the markers are just starting to disappear.

Well, this is getting really long so I'm just going to wrap it up. The point I want to make is, there really is no need to give so many things in goody bags, especially expensive things. I ended up having to throw those permanent markers away because they had started to write on the white carpeting with them. The giant lollipops, which cost Noshi $2 each (she left the price tag on by mistake), was just money down the drain. Instead of wasting money buying lollipops that were going to be licked twice and thrown away, I would have rather she saved that money. Or if she was really itching to buy my kids something, just go to the Dollar Store and buy them a book. Books are something that last much longer than sugar, and always please both the kids and the parents. I don't care about the quantity or cost of the items in a goody bag, it's the thought that really counts, and I would much rather have my kids receive one book each, than a bag full of sugar and toys I'm eventually going to trip on, and throw away.

photo source

The New Face of the Yellow Wiggle

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If you haven't heard the sad news yet, Greg Page (The original Yellow Wiggle) has retired from the Wiggles due to a horrible illness and has passed his yellow shirt to 27 year old Sam Moran, his understudy. I know for sure one of my friends is going to be heartbroken over this news. Greg was her favorite. I personally have a preference for the Blue Wiggle, Anthony, but I'm going to miss Greg. He has a very sweet way of letting the children know about his departure in a video on the Wiggles website, in which he ceremoniously passes his yellow shirt to the new Yellow Wiggle, Sam Moran. The whole scene is very reminiscent of the infamous Blues Clues episode where Steve "left for college" and introduced Joe to the kids.

My son watched Greg's video today showed neither sadness nor happiness. He was completely indifferent to the change. I, however, felt really sad for Greg after I saw the video. This was a man who really loved what he did, and it's painful to watch him suffer and not be able to sing and dance like he used to, or wants to, anymore. Also, I can't believe he's only 34 years old! I always thought he was a little older, and it is frightening that someone who seemed to be in the prime of their health could be debilitated by a disease at such an early age. My heart goes out to Greg.

On a lighter note, I do think Sam is rather cute and should be fun to watch. The news so far is that the kids have accepted Sam as the new Yellow Wiggle without any problems. Children really don't care who's doing the entertaining as long as someone is doing it. It's the Moms, on the other hand, who are going to need a little more time adjusting to the change. Especially the ones who answer "Greg" to the question "Which Wiggle would you do?", (a game nearly every mother has played in her head or with her friends at least once.) I really don't mind Sam's addition to the Wiggles, mainly because I'm an Anthony fan. I'm sure if Anthoney were to ever retire, then I'd truly be a mess.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Vintage Wiggles: The Four Creepiest Minutes on Children's Television Ever

When the Wiggles were just starting out (about 15 years ago), they didn't have a huge budget for "lights, camera, action", and relied mostly upon puppet shows to entertain children with their music.

This vintage Wiggles video is one of their earliest productions. I showed this to my four and two year old kids, and they didn't find it freaky at all, but I about died by the time the Captain Feathersword puppet appeared.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Friday Fun Links

Here are some fun links, some old, some new, but all worth a look.

This video is the best Nintendo Wii commercial you'll never see on TV (via YouTube)

KKKKramer, this picture is worth a thousand words (College Humor)

I like Vaseline for all its mulitude of uses, but Tyra Banks is just crazy about it! (Wampoon)
Tyra's reaction to Vaseline is what mine would be the day my twins finally get potty trained.

Amy Poehler Blasts the Coochie Flashers on SNL, plus my two cents. (Celebitchy)

The Video of Amy Poehler Blasting the Coochie Flashers (Celebitchy)

Laura Bush's Fashion Nightmare, this dress really got around (Celebitchy)

Britney Spears may have shacked up with Mario Lopez for two days (Celebitchy)

This Dora the Explorer toy looks more like a vibrator than a toy for little kids (Agent Bedhead)

Do Indian guys have small weiners? Hmm, no comment, but Neel Shah is a hottie! (Gawker)

And here's an extra special treat for the weekend, an extreme close-up of Teri Hatcher.

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Yikes! If this is what bathing in red wine does to your skin, no thanks, I'll stick to soap and water.

Teri Hatcher photo via WWTDD

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Jumping Monkeys

It was a busy morning at my house this morning. It all started last night when the kids decided to jump like monkeys on my bed. That's the latest thing with them. They pull the comforter off my bed and pretend it's a giant trampoline. Well, as the old saying goes, it's all fun and games until someone gets a tooth knocked loose, and that's exactly what happened.

I had my back turned to the event because I was in the bathroom pre-pasting everyone's toothbrushes. Our usual bedtime routine is that all the kids wash-up at the sink, wash their hands, brush their teeth (I help the twins) and wash their face. We have one kiddie stool set-up in front of the sink, so everyone basically stands in assembly line to wash up.

I could hear the kids jumping and laughing while I was in the bathroom and just thinking "All I have to do now is help them wash up, and then I can finally put them to sleep. Yeah!" when I heard what sounded like two coconuts crashing together. I turned around and came back to find Bigger Twin (the older twin) running away from the scene while the Littlest Twin (the younger one) was bleeding from her mouth. My son freaked out and said, "Call 911!!" and started crying. He was not going to be much of a help from this point, and the husband, as usual, had locked himself in the basement to pay bills and follow up on the after hour e-mails from work (he never stops working).

So Littlest Twin is spewing blood from her mouth while the other two kids are freaking out in the corner of the room. I was trying to control the bleeding with a washcloth while trying to find out exactly what happened and where in her mouth the blood was coming from. I had a feeling her chin came crashing down on top of her sister's head (hence that coconut crashing sound) but I didn't know exactly what got damaged inside her mouth. Did she bite her tongue, her lip? I took her to the sink so she could rinse out her mouth, and finally I saw that the blood was actually coming from the gum line around her lower front teeth.

I immediately called her pediatrician, who asked me to check if the teeth were loose. Littlest Twin shrieked when I touched her teeth, but they appeared not to move when I tried to wiggle them. The doctor said to give her Motrin and have her examined by the dentist tomorrow.

So this morning, after I dropped my son off at pre-school, we headed to our dentist, who is an absolute angel. She's so good with kids. The receptionist had to laugh as she was writing up the reason for the visit. She said, "This reminds me of that nursery rhyme, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, except it's three little monkeys." After the dentist checked her teeth and took an x-ray, we found out her lower front teeth ARE loose, but will probably become more resilient over the next few weeks as her gums heal and tigten up again. She's allowed only soft foods for the next two weeks, and this means no more cookies for her. She can't bite anything with her front teeth, anything she needs to eat has to be soft and broken down into pieces so she can pick it up with her hands or a spoon and push it to the back of her mouth to chew.

When we came home, she didn't quite understand this and was begging for a brownie. She was hungry, and I didn't realize this at the time, but this morning she refused to eat her waffle at breakfast, and now I know it was because she couldn't bite into it. I had planned on giving her some fried eggs and buttered toast and making small bites out of it to feed her, but she really didn't want to wait that long. I figured I'd let her see for herself and gave her a brownie while I cooked the eggs for the twins' lunch. Once she had the brownie in her hands, she hesitated to bite it (thank goodness for natural defense mechanisms). While her sister was happily munching away at the brownies, Littlest Twin looked up at me and said, "I don't have teeth." I felt sorry for her, and since the brownie was soft enough to chew on her back teeth, I broke it down into tiny pieces for her so she could pick them up and eat them. Kind of like what you would do for a 9-month old. However, I'm glad her instincts are helping her take precautions against putting pressure on those teeth, the area around them has turned purple and looks pretty scary, but she'll be better soon. The doctor said it would be nice if she could eat a popsicle, but she has an aversion to cold foods other than ice cream. She's very stubborn.

Well, that's it for the drama in my life for now. Just when I think I can relax and everything is finished for the day, another disaster strikes. But I am going to start implementing a new rule in the house tonight. No more monkeys jumping on the bed! Seriously, she's very lucky. Judging from the amount of trauma dealt to her teeth, she's lucky she didn't bite down on her tongue. That would have most definitely warranted a call to 911, which I've learned through prior experience, is like trying to communicate with a hamster if you're on Vonage.

Close, But No Pants

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So Brit Brit finally decided to wear panties, and she flashed them to the paps to prove it.

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Nice. Maybe next time she'll remember to wear her pants as well.

photos via I'mNotObsessed

Monday, December 04, 2006

Teri Hatcher Bathes in Red Wine

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According to a new book, The Black Book of Hollywood Secrets, the secret behind Teri Hatcher's soft and smooth skin is bathing in red wine. Not a whole tub full of wine, but a cup of red wine added to the bath water, with rose petals sprinkled on top to make the experience extra special.

The polyphenols found in grapes jump-start circulation to reveal healthier glowing softer skin. The book advises, pour one cup of red wine (don't worry about stains on skin or tub) into a warm bath, put a few rose petals on top, jump in, and stay for 20 minutes. Teri Hatcher uses old wine and lets the sediments sink to the bottom of the tub. "I scoop them up in the tub and use them as an exfoliant. The only bad thing is you can't drink the whole bottle of wine," she says.
I've heard that Cleopatra used to bathe in goat's milk to keep her skin soft, but the idea of bathing in red wine is new to me. It sounds very interesting, but I guess you would actualy have to have the time to take a bath to experience the benefits of this beauty treatment. Other beauty secrets revealed in this book: Jennifer Aniston uses Neutrogena soap on her face and Mischa Barton curls her hair with velcro rollers (yawn). But according to the book review on Amazon, the book also reveals the beauty secrets of stars like Catherine Zeta-Jones, Beyoncé Knowles, and Charlize Theron. I might check it out the next time I take my kids to play trains at B&N.

photo via WWTDD

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Salma Hayek's Smoking Hot Black Bag

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Have you seen this black bag Salma Hayek has been carrying on the Ugly Betty show? It's become my latest obsession. I love it. It's the Francesco Biasia Aphrodisiac Trapezoid Tote, and it's now at the top of my most wanted list.

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I love the woven leather and the big handles on this bag, they make it look both stylish and sturdy at the same time. According to all the fashion mags, the "it" bag of the moment is a big black leather bag with brass-toned hardware, and this bag definitely fits the bill. The Francesco Biasia Aphrodisiac Trapezoid Tote is available at for $391.95, and the shipping is free.

Ugly Betty screencap via Salma Hayek Web

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Aishwarya Rai Without Makeup, Looking Depressed

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Aishwarya Rai is looking really depressed lately. It seems her horoscope is not good, and won't be compatible for a marriage to her Umrao Jaan co-star Abhishek Bachchan. Aishwarya recently went to a temple in Varanasi with Abhishek, and his family, which included Big B, Jaya, and Abhishek's sister, Shweta. They were thronged by paparazzi, and it seems like catching candid photos of Bollywood celebs is now coming in vogue in India.

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I must say it's nice to see her without makeup. Now I don't feel so fug.

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Here's a glimpse of Aishwarya with her future (or possbily current) in-laws. You can see Big B Amitabh in the front, Jaya in the orange sari, and the Shweta behind Jaya. Abhishek is the one pulling on his ear behind Aish. The whole family is here to pray for Aishwarya. Question is, where is Aishwarya's family? Shouldn't they be praying for her too?

all photos via

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Goodbye K-Fed, Hello Vag Slips

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Paris and Britney, breast friends forever!

Any hopes I had of Britney bringing her career back came to a screeching halt the minute she decided to become BFF's with Paris Hilton. It's like watching a freaking train wreck. First they're out partying till 5 am every night, then her boobs are hanging all over the place, and now "Little Miss Sunshine" has joined the Vag Slip Club, you know, that one! The one were Paris Hilton is not only a member, but also the Head Recruiter.

Check out these photos at X17online, ewww. Paris without underwear, I can understand, she can't help it. But Brit, for heaven's sake, she's a mother of two children. That's so not hot.

photo via Egotastic

UPDATE: Holy Hell! Britney's showing us more than we could have ever imagined! What Would Tyler Durden Do has all the nasty NSFW pics. Not only is Britney showing off her vag, she's showing off her C-Section Scar too!!! (Thanks for the link Celebitchy!)

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Warning: Clicking on this pic will lead you to a giant NSFW view of where Brit's kids were conceived, and the point from which they were delivered. Click at your own risk. Meow!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Punjabi Film in English: Basheera in Trouble!

When I was younger, I had many close friends whose parents spoke English with a heavy Punjabi accent. Words like "sweetie" were pronounced "saveetie", "do not" was pronounced "donut", and the city of Scranton was pronounced "Suck-a-rrranton" (the "r" was rolled). It was these very friends who introduced me to this skit from a Pakistani comedy show called Fifty Fifty. Very popular during the late 70's and early 80's, Fifty Fifty was a weekly comedy show very similar to Saturday Night Live, and the skits were always hilariously funny. By the mid 1980's, all the episodes were available on VHS (which is how I saw them) for ex-pats living overseas, and now in the year 2006, they are all available on YouTube. High Five!

This skit, a fake trailer for Pakistan's first Punjabi film in English, is by far my favorite Fifty Fifty skit of all time. Aptly titled Basheera in Trouble, it pokes innocent fun at the accent and the story lines seen in some Punjabi films.

My favorite scene is at the end, where the guy puts his pagar(turban) down on the floor and says, "My prestige is under your feet, don't kick it, don't kick it!". I also like how that guy in the beginning says "suppose". He's got style.

Monday, November 20, 2006

My Fashion Emergency: Dressing Down

While everyone was focused on the biggest inter-galactic wedding of the century this weekend, I was having a fashion emergency of my own. My husband's co-worker was having a Christening for his baby at an Italian Restaurant and I had absolutely nothing to wear. I always find it tricky to dress for non-South Asian (non-desi) functions. I've seen either the guests at these parties dress up with fancy gowns and jewelry, or they dress like it's business casual day at the office. My problem is, I'm so used to attending dinner parties and functions thrown by South Asians, I tend to overdress. And wear too much makeup. I've learned the hard way that at non-desi functions, a good rule of thumb is to pretend like you're dressing up for a desi function, and then tone it down by two notches. Three, if you're like me.

Of course, when I did this and looked at my closet, I realized I had nothing to wear. I had some nice dressy black pants that I could probably squeeze into if I put on two pairs of Spanx, but the one green twinset I had from Ann Taylor had been seen too many times by my husband's co-workers at other events, and there was no way I was wearing the sparkly white twinset my Mom bought me last year with black pants. I didn't want to be confused with the waitress.

So I forced the husband to watch the kids and headed off to Lohemann's to find something decent to wear. Loehmann's is one of my favorite stores to shop for designer clothes, right up there with TJ Maxx and Marshall's. It takes a little work to find what you're looking for, but you really do end up saving alot of money.

Now the last Christening I went to, everyone was dressed up in fancy gowns and lots of sparkly jewelry. Despite reminding myself I had to tone it down, I got carried away and started trying on party dresses. I'm super self-conscious about my boobs (trust me ladies, bigger is not better!), and I didn't like how most of the dresses for women my age were cut. Too low, and too sexy. This was a Christening, not a dance party. After trying on several outfits, I came back with this dress that was hung under the "Mother of the Bride" sign at the store. It was the only dress I could find that didn't have a V down to "there" and looked modest. Yeah, I'm a prude when it comes to dresses, I know.

When I got home and tried it on to show my husband, he took one look at me and said, "God damn, you look like Driving Miss Daisy, what were you thinking?"

"What's wrong with it?" I asked. I thought it looked pretty cute.

He said, "First of all, this is a Christening, you're too overdressed. Second of all, this dress looks like something an older lady would wear, like Queen Elizabeth for tea. Just wear something normal."

So I returned the dress and headed to Marshall's, which on Saturday was BCBG heaven. I love anything by BCBG, especially when it's on 65% discount. I found a blue twinset with crystals on it in my size (XL baby, I live large) and wore it with the black pants I already owned (I actually only needed one pair of Spanx) and in the end, thought I looked presentable for both a fancy and not-so-fancy party. The husband agreed.

When I went to the Christening, guess what most of the women were wearing? Black pants with sweaters. Some of them twinsets, some of them pastel cashmeres, and some of them in Christmas motifs with snowflakes and reindeer on them (OMG!). Despite trying to dress down, I still managed to wear a sweater that was a little more than what everyone else was wearing, but at least I hit the mark with the black pants.

Oh well. My motto is, you live and learn. Next time I'll just be one of those pests and call the hostess to ask her "What are you wearing?" instead of playing the guessing game. If I had known that it would've been acceptable to wear sweaters with reindeer on them, I could have saved the shopping trip altogether, but I do love the new twinset. My closet can always use a little extra BCBG.

dress photo via,

The Secret Behind Katie's Wedding Shoes

They were ballet flats! They had to be. It was either that, or Katie shrunk.

For more details on all the gossip behind the TomKat wedding, check out People Magazine's TomKat Blog. It's got all the news I'm too lazy to talk about.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

And Now for Something Completely Different...Posh in a Hefty Cinch Sak

Holy Hefty Cinch Sak, Batman! What is this? Is this the latest creation Posh dreamed up while multitasking in her bubble bath?

I don't know if this cinched garbage bag number is from Posh's new fashion line (to be released in January 2007), but if this is the preview, I don't want to see the rest. Well, maybe I do.... but just for shits and giggles.

photo via People

***This post is also posted on Celebitchy***

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Loreal's Secret Distribution Mess

I didn't plan to talk about Aishwarya Beige or the nonsense that is Star Secrets again, but 1.) I got a few blank calls from someone with the caller ID "Loreal" at my home and 2.) I've been getting a lot of hits on my blog lately coming from the following Google queries, "Aishwarya Beige", "where can I buy Aishwarya Beige?", "where to buy Star Secrets?", "Star Secrets Aishwarya Beige", "Aishwarya Rai's Makeup How to Get the Look". You get the picture. I can understand the queries for the Aishwarya Beige lipstick, but for someone from Loreal to actually do the extra sleuthing and call me at my home, that's creeping me out a little. Hey, I'm just a blogger with an opinion, that's all.

To be fair, I don't hate all Loreal products. I believe their Le Grand Kohl eyeliners are the best beauty bargain out there, and their ReNoviste Glycolic Peel Kit is the only product that lives up to its promise of evening out your skin tone after only one application. I love ReNoviste and have noticed better results from this product alone than using months of prescription strength Differin gel.

However, if there was ever an award for the "Worst Marketing and Distribution Campaign Ever" it would go to Loreal, for completely screwing up what could have been the most lucrative, international launch of a lipstick line ever. Because of their slow response and indecisive plan of how to launch and distribute this lipstick worldwide, they have lost a considerable amount in potential profits and caused mass hysteria amongst women on the internet, especially those seeking the ever elusive Aishwarya Beige lipstick.

I have yet to find an actual Star Confessions (or is it Star Secrets again? whatever they can't make up their mind) display at a local Walgreens or Target. Neither has Loreal offered the line for sale on its website. Why has Loreal made it so difficult to make the Star Secret lipsticks available to consumers, especially U.S. consumers? I'm seeing the commercials for the Star Secrets flashed during every episode of Desperate Housewives, with Aishwarya, Eva, and Andie walking around with their lipsticks like they're hot stuff, so I see they are continuing to hype it. But what's the use if no one can readily buy it? I think the people who live in the bigger cities have found it at a local retailer at some point, but those of us who live in West Bumblefuck, U.S.A. haven't seen a glimpse of it.

Meanwhile, savvy entreprenuers on eBay have zeroed in on Loreal's distribution problem (or lack thereof) and have taken it upon themselves to fill the void in demand for the most popular of the shades, Aishwarya Beige. In true economic fashion, it's priced at a huge profit margin for the seller. An $8 dollar tube of Aishwarya Beige lipstick is selling on Ebay for almost $30 dollars. That's almost four times the retail price! But you know what, it serves Loreal right. I think the "wizards" behind the entire Star Secrets/Confessions M&D campaign deserve the loss in sale, and furthermore, need to go back to business school to take a lesson in how the internet affects supply and demand in today's economy. What's the point of getting famous international faces to promote your product if you can't even create a market to sell it in?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Nigella Lawson Appreciation Day

There are many reasons I love Nigella Lawson. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's a great mom to her two kids, and she's into unfussy food and easy entertaining. She's a real mom who keeps it real. But most of all, she's not afraid to bake a decadent chocolate cake and eat it straight off the cake plate. She will never be one of those women you see at a birthday party who says, "Just give me a very small slice please," and then unjoyfully eat a sliver-sized piece of cake. No, Nigella will indulge in a full hunk of cake and relish every moment of it. She lives her life to the fullest, and makes no apologies for loving her pasta, and that's why I deem today, Nigella Lawson Appreciation Day.

Cojo's Quote of the Week

"If I ever see a woman with chipped nail polish on her nails, I'll walk right over and smack her over the head with my grocery bag. Unkempt is not fashionable, there is simply no excuse for it." Steven Cojocaru, as quoted on the Rachel Ray show.

Oh snap, Cojo! Point taken, but sometimes you’ve gotta cut a mom a break on this one. Doing things like dishes and diapers is not exactly manicure-friendly work. Besides, isn’t it a bigger fashion crime for a grown man to to think it’s “fashionable” to dress up like Chastity Bono? I’m just sayin’.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Britney Dumps K-Fed and is Coming Back in Style

I was upset when I heard that Ryan and Reese were splitting up, but when I heard the news today that Britney finally dumped that lazy bum husband of hers, I was ecstatic. And I'm not alone, I don't think there has ever been this much celebration or happiness over a couple breaking up since, well,...never! Britney's looking good, and I'm glad she finally got the sense to knock K-Fed to curb. I'm so happy for her.

Pink is the New Blog is my favorite "All-Britney All the Time" site right now, he's got the details on everything. Check it out.

And Britney could very well make this Gap sweater the new "must-have" item of the winter, especially for girls getting their groove back. People has all the details on how you can copy her look, although they recommend wearing a shirt under the sweater for modesty. I don't really mind how the sweater looks on Britney, though. I think she's been through so much hell with K-Fed, she deserves to get her sexy on. Go Britney!

photo via People Magazine

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Hamster Dance, Whored Out Bollywood Style

Okay, so I did this post a while ago on Celebitchy and put this video up to show how similarly slutty Paris Hilton and Rakhi Sawant's music videos were, and The Blemish noted that Rakhi Sawant was doing a sexy version of the Hamster Dance. Now I'm a little behind on the music trends, I had no idea what the Hamster Dance was, but found time to google it today, and by golly, he was right!

Here's the original version, innocent hamsters doing an innocent little dance and spreading joy around the world. I let my kids watch this and they enjoyed it very much.

So now that you've got that funky beat stuck in your head, take a look at this. Here's the whored out Bollywood version of the hamster dance, starring my all-time favorite "skank I love to hate" Rakhi Sawant. My kids are not allowed to look at this one, but you can. Don't worry, it's slutty, but it's not porn. (The guys are really gonna love this one!)

Barry Manilow is Torn Between Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray

Rachel to Martha: "Bring it bitch, Oprah's got my back!"

Barry Manilow had a busy morning in New York City today, and it was all because Rachel Ray wanted Barry Manilow on her show the same day and same TIME SLOT her rival Martha Stewart had booked him. Both Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart have their cooking-based talk shows on at 10 AM, but Rachel's is on ABC and Martha's is on NBC. Originally, Barry was supposed to perform on Rachel's show tomorrow, but "Rach" changed the plan at the last minute and made him come today. Martha was pissed and let Rachel have it on her show this morning.

"I've never actually met Rachael Ray," said Martha during her opening monologue, with a rather unmistakable chortle. "I think she's very fun...lively...uh...young woman," continued the domestic queen, racking her brain for adjectival possibilities. "She has Barry on her show today ... Now that's kinda weird."

Martha went on to claim that Rachael had originally scheduled the Manilow show for tomorrow, but for some reason moved up his appearance to today, and then wagged a stern verbal finger in Ray's face, saying, "I don't know ... I think it's not ... great for the artist."

I actually saw this happen on TV this morning. Normally I don't watch Martha, but I was watching the Today Show, and stayed tuned because Martha had appeared with Barry Manilow during the news segment and said, "I've got Barry Manilow on the show today," so me, being the lifetime Barry Manilow fan that I am, stayed tuned and saw it all fold out. After Barry performed on Martha's show, he must have have booked it to ABC, because by the time he appeared on Rachel's set (I kept switching between both channels, I'm a loser I know) Barry was huffing and puffing like he ran a marathon to get there. I clocked him, it took him about 25 minutes to get from NBC studios to ABC. Did he run? Did he use a cab? It's been a while since I've been in Manhattan so I don't really know how far the distance is with the traffic these days, but the poor guy looked exhausted. However, Barry Manilow, being the timeless performer that he is, still managed to put on a good performance at both shows. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of Martha Stewart, but in this case, I have to agree, booking the same artist during the same time slot, on two different television shows in different studios really is not fair to the artist. Manilow sang "What the World Needs Now (Is Love Sweet Love)" on Rachel's show, and before he began to sing he said, "Boy could we ever use this song today." I bet there was a double entendre in that message. The war between Martha and Rachel has officially begun.

Move over women of The View, there's a new bitch fight brewing in town, and this time they've got Wusthof knives.

Martha Stewart/Rachel Ray photo credit: TMZ

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Feet Don't Fail Me Now

I know I'm a few days late and a couple candy corns short of posting this, but Happy Halloween ya'll. The kids got tons of candy, and for the first time, we actually ran out of candy to give out. We had to start dipping into the loot the kids brought home just to please the monsters ringing our doorbell. The kids didn't know about the candy embezzlement, I snuck the candy away when they weren't looking. But it was all good, I'd rather sugar up someone else's kids than my own. I need my sleep.

Other than that, life is just busy as usual. Last night, I finally decided to get off my self-loathing "my life sucks and I'm so fat" trip and decided to go back to the gym. Working out always makes me feel better, and I think the main reason I've been so out of it lately is that I've been just wallowing in self-pity and eating too much junk. I was thinking of calling my Dad up to mail me some Zoloft because I just can't take the stress of the kids and not having any time to myself, I mean I can't even go to the bathroom without an audience of three watching me, but I stopped myself and decided to give the gym a try first. Besides, I knew that was what my Dad was going to say anyway, to try exercising first because it helps "balance seratonin levels".

So anyway, yesterday I told the husband I'm feeding the kids their dinner early and the minute he gets home, I'm going to the gym and he's going to be on duty for the rest of the night. He came home, I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. I was already dressed for the gym, in fact, I am perpetually dressed for the gym, (t-shirts and sweatpant are my daily garb), but once I pulled into the gym's parking lot, I realized I had forgotten one crucial thing, my sneakers. In my haste to make it out the door, I had slipped on a pair of black loafers. My gym wouldn't allow me to workout without the sneakers so I had to drive back home. To and fro, it was about a 45 minute drive, but you know it wasn't so bad after all. The drive actually cleared my head and I got to listen to music that was not The Wiggles or about learning ABC's. By the time I got home, the kids were all getting into their jammies, so I thought I'll try to get to the gym tomorrow and went to sleep.

I'm going to try to make it to the gym again tonight, and make damn sure I put on my sneakers before I go. Feet don't fail me now!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Ugly Betty's Purse

I absolutely love this new show Ugly Betty. It's very well-written and entertaining, and the main character Betty is so adorable, you can't help but fall in love with her. Even though she's supposed to be a style-challenged geek, the purse she carries on the show is super cute, and super affordable too. It's the Lucky Brand Jeans Large Patchwork Mailbag. Made of 100% leather, the purse matches well with most fall clothing. A basic black sweater and jeans outfit could be easily jazzed up with the addition of this bag. Plus, the design and the O-ring details are very similar in style to the famous Isabella Fiore Carina hobos, but for only a fraction of the price. The Lucky Patchwork Mailbag is $148, and is available at Macy's.

Ugly Betty episode image via Ugly Betty Blog

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Dhoom 2 Trailer: Flashy, but What's the Plot?

I was waiting for quite some time to see the trailer of Dhoom 2, the movie Aishwarya Rai was ordered to lose 10 lbs. for over the summer. Aish is already so skinny, I really don't know what this obsession is with movie directors making thin actresses become even more thin, but whatever. She looks good, but none of these actors really look Indian anymore. I actually liked seeing the old Bollywood actresses like Sridevi, dance with a little junk in the trunk and big bellies in ghagra cholies, but now, everyone is so buffed. Take a look at Bipasha Basu in the movie trailer, she looks just like Angelina Jolie's character "Lara Croft" from Tomb Raider. The only thing I wish this trailer would tell me is what the heck this movie is all about. Images of Aish dancing in skimpy clothes, Hrthik doing some high tech train jumping and computer work, and Abhishek flying on a jet ski across dry land (yeah, that's right, he's flying on it!) is not really helping me. And Bipasha Basu dressed up like Lara Croft? I'm still trying to figure that one out. But the trailer is pretty flashy and action packed, so enjoy!

UPDATE: I got a little free time today and acted like a total loser. I listened to this video clip closely about three times to see if there were any clues as to what this movie is all about. It is well known amongst the Bollywood circle that the producers are trying to keep the plot a secret. From the clip, it seems this film is about a diamond heist, and all of the main characters are invovled somehow. Whatever the job is, the characters seem to be taking alot of breaks in between to do their obligatory song and dance routines. It seems like they mixed the story line from Mission Impossible with the 60's classic Beach Party. This is all pure speculation though, once the film has been released, we'll get a better clue as to which Hollywood film was plagiarized to create Dhoom 2. We all know originality has never been Bollywood's strong point.

The Healthiest Fast Food Nugget

I resort to feeding my kids nuggets and fries from fast food chains more often that I would like to admit. It's just so convenient when you're out, and you can't beat getting a quick meal for three kids for under $5 bucks. Three orders of nuggets and a Biggie fries, our local Wendy's drive-thru person knows our "usual" by heart now.

The kids and I have always been partial to Wendy's nuggets. Out of all the top three fast food chains, (Burger King, McDonald's, and Wendy's), Wendy's has the best tasting nuggets. Plus, they are so soft, even a 7-month-old can eat them when torn into little pieces by a watchful parent.

The latest news is that our favorite nuggets and fries are also the healthiest. Wendy's nuggets and kid size fries now have Zero Grams Transfat, and are cooked in non-hydrogenated oil. So now, not only do I feel less guilty about giving my kids Wendy's, I can even indulge in some myself!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sunday Night Creep Show

Last night, my husband did me a favor and took the kids out to McDonald's for dinner. They have a Play Palace there where they can easily kill an hour or two. I stayed behind to "winterize" the closets. For me, winterizing means going through the entire inventory of the children's clothes, packing away spring/summer clothes in underbed storage boxes, and putting sweaters and warm clothes in their drawers instead. Basically, I'm getting the home ready for winter, and making it difficult for my son to dress himself in shorts and an Aloha Bob shirt when it's 40 degrees outside. I also use this chance to collect old, or too small clothing to donate to goodwill. We have a great service here provided by the Vietnam Vets group that actually picks up your used and unwanted items from your front porch. All you have to do is schedule a pickup and they come to your house and take it away. You don't even need to wake up early or be home for it, you can just leave it outside, and away it goes. And they don't just take away clothes, they take anything, even old toys, shoes, linens, and small items of furniture. This service is perfect for moms who have lots of kids and find it difficult to leave the home to run errands.

I had actually started this project last week, but it was taking some time because I could only devote a couple minutes each day out of our normal routine to work on it. Finally last night, I asked my husband to take the kids out so I could just finish the job in peace, especially when it came time to collecting old toys for goodwill. The kids kept taking all the toys out and remembering "oh, I like this, don't give this away." The husband left with the crew at around 8:30 pm and was going to be back by 10ish. For the first time in ages, I was all alone in the house!

I started the night by making myself dinner. I had Cup O' Noodles soup and a salad. Easy. It reminded me of college times when a cool meal was never easier than boiling some water and pouring it into sodium-laden ramen noodles in a styrofoam cup. Then I watched Desperate Housewives while I winterized the closets. When it was over, I channel surfed to find something else to watch (I'm not into that Brothers and Sisters show) and lo and behold where did my remote land me but VH1, where they had Hal Spark getting scared shitless in a haunted sanatorium! The show is called the Celebrity Paranormal Project, and it stars a group of five new B-list celebrities every week. It's very much like that show Fear they used to have on MTV a while ago starring random teenagers, but this time, with the addition of the famous celebrities, it's even better. It perfectly blends my love of the celeb life with my fascination with the paranormal, it's like watching E! and that show Most Haunted on the Travel Channel all at once.

photo VH1.

So the point is, five celebrities have to spend an entire night in a building deemed haunted. When I turned it on, Hal Sparks (of Talk Soup fame) was all alone on the fifth floor of the building and he suddenly sees a shadow of a little boy whizz by. And I saw it too! I've got DVR (it's kind of like Tivo) and I rewinded and replayed the clip in slow motion and damn, there was a little black shadow of a child! This wasn't magic, it was really there. Then later, Donna D'Errico, who had earlier said at base camp,"I'm not scared of the dark," is petrified and crying when a ghost of a doctor appears before here (it's captured on camera, it's really there in front of her!) and she is told she has to walk towards it to the stairs behind the ghost to get out of the building. She did, but cried the entire time. (I would too.)

By this time, I had lost all interest in winterizing the closets, I kept peeking at the doorway to make sure there was no ghost there and wishing my husband and kids would come home soon. Why did I have to watch a scary tv show when I was home all alone anyway? You'd think I would've changed the channel by now, but no, I'm a sucker for punishment, and I watched it through to the end. Hal Sparks got possessed by a spirit and drew pictures of a bloody hanging, Hal Sparks get pushed down the stairs by a ghost while a screaming Jenna Morasco is running for her life, Hal Sparks leads a seance to help the ghosts move to the next plane. It was clear by the end of the show, the ghosts had a thing for Hal Sparks, yet the one actor who wished he could get some ghost action on (and yet, not one ghost touched) was Gary Busey. Apparently, Gary has had three near-death experiences and thought if anyone was going to be able to communicate with the dead, it would be him, but no, the ghosts wanted Hal Sparks.

In all, the show is really great. I managed to survive it and am really looking forward to next weeks episode. Next week, a new cast of stars will spend a night in an abandoned haunted building that used to be an asylum for the criminally insane. The ghosts aren't just insane, they are criminally insane. One of the stars along for the spookfest is Tracey Bingham, I can't wait to watch her get scared. She was such a snob on Surreal Life.

By the time the show ended, the kids came back from McDonalds and were telling me about how much fun they had and how they got to eat ice cream sundaes. I was so happy to see them, I decided to save the rest of the winterizing for tomorrow. I obviously got seriously distracted by the creep show, but in hindsight, it was a good distraction. That's all I need sometimes, a little time to myself freaking myself out to remember what I value most in this world, my kids. I've been feeling really burned out lately, and was unwantedly taking it out on the kids by snapping at them for the littlest things. I've been feeling so guilty about it that I feel sometimes, that the only thing the kids are going to remember about me from this age is that mommy was tired and yelled all the time and was always doing laundry or dishes. I really do want to kick back and relax with the kids, I wish I could sit down and play with them, but there is just so much to do just to keep the house running. Honestly though, I think alot of the pressure is coming from me. I tend to put unnecessary demands on myself, and from time to time I need to remind myself to chill out and just calm down. The world won't end if the towels don't get washed today or if we order pizza for dinner two nights in a row. I guess, I just needed a rest for a couple of hours, and I needed to see that Spark that would turn me into "fun mom" again. I asked the husband if he could make the McDonald's thing a weekly occurrence, since it helped me recharge so much, to which he responded with a bewildred look and a "umm.....okay?" but I told him I was just kidding. Once a month will do just fine.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Random Conversation of the Day

Remember when you were young and you thought all those people on your favorite TV shows actually lived inside the television? Well, this is the latest "Kids Say the Darndest Things" episode from my house. It happened while the kids were watching Blues Clues today.

R: "I want Joe from Blues Clues to come over to my house and play with me."

Me: "Okay, I'll call Nickelodeon and find out how we can do that."

R: "No, let's just break the TV screen and pull him out of there. Come on, let's do it."

Me: "I think your Dad would get mad if we broke the TV. Let's call Joe on the phone first and see if he can come here in his car."

R: "Okay."

Then I changed the channel and he forgot about it. For now.

photo source

Posh Gets Massively Stressed as a Mom

Posh has recently talked about how "massivley stressed" out she gets juggling a career as a fashion icon and a mommy to her three kids. She often feels she has no time to herself. She says the key to helping her keep it all together is multi-tasking.

She said: “Being a mother’s taught me not to waste time faffing about in the
closet every morning. You learn how to get things done quicker, and often you do
them just as well.”

Posh, whose sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are aged
seven, four and one, added: “Nowadays, I multitask, planning outfits while I’m
doing something else — getting ready for bed or taking a bath.

though I love getting dressed up, there’s always the risk of baby sick down my
front. That’s why I live in jeans and T-shirts.”

I think the fact that she even gets to relax and take a bath, and daydream about all the outfits she's going to wear disqualifies her from complaining about being stressed out as a mom. Maybe it's just me, but I find it hard to believe that someone who has access to nannies and whose "work out of the home" job involves dressing up in haute couture and looking pretty could feel so stressed. Ask someone who is spending all day with kids what stress is. I don't call dreaming about what outfit you are going to wear next while relaxing in a nice hot bubble bath multi-tasking. Nope. Multi-tasking is trying to cook dinner while preventing your kids from climbing onto the stove and trying to take a peek at what's cooking, or making a giant mess in the family room so you have more than just the kitchen to clean when you are done. Multi-tasking is breastfeeding twins at the same time while putting your son down for a nap. And finally, multi-tasking is trying to post a blog entry while one kid is pulling your hair and sitting on top of your shoulders, and simultaneously yelling at your other two kids, who are screaming and fighting with each other over who gets to crank call people on your cell phone. I'd be more than happy to trade places with Posh for a day, even if it's just to take that bath. Alone and in silence.

I also find it hard to believe Posh lives in jeans and t-shirts. She has said this before in several articles as well, but everytime she's out, she's dressed like a society woman with some really expensive handbag dripping from her arm. (That bag, by the way, is the Marc Jacobs Leopard Chain Link Satchel, available by special order only.) Perhaps she does so at home, after she gets out of her bath and takes all the time she needs to get ready while a nanny watches her kids.

photo source: Just Jared

Friday, October 13, 2006

Mystery of the Twins Solved

I know this post is backdated, but that's because I started the attempt of writing this post last Friday. It's Sunday night right now and the kids and I are being plagued by The Cold That Will Never End. It started out as a flu, cleared up, and then came back as a sinus infection that turned me into The Resident Green Booger Wiper of the house. Now the kids are at that point where it's getting better (and clearer) but they are constantly needing a tissue to wipe their runny noses. I was doing it for them in the beginning but after a while, I just handed each of them a Kleenex box and let them learn the art of nose wiping by themselves (hey, I had to wipe my own nose too). We've gone through about two bottles of Children's Dimetapp Cold and Allergy in the past two weeks (I take this medicine as well) and needless to say, the cold has zapped me of any creative thought, so I thought I'd give you all an update on a dilemma I had mentioned over the summer.

After two years of wondering whether my twin daughters are identical or fraternal, I finally have the answer. They are IDENTICAL TWINS.

I had originally planned to have their DNA tested through Genetree's Twin Zygosity testing service, but when the kit arrived in the mail, it was impossible to get a DNA sample from either twin. The kit required that I swab the inside cheek of each baby, three times, place the cotton swabs in color coded envelopes and mail them back to the company for testing, along with a check for approximately $200. The girls refused to let me poke the inside of their cheeks with a cotton swab, not even once, not even while they were sleeping. After a couple of days of futile attempts, they developed so much hatred for that kit that they threw it away in their diaper pail. So after that episode, I gave up and decided I'd try to find out when they were 12 years old and more able to cooperate with me.

Time passed and I had completely forgotten about finding out the zygosity until one of my friends reminded me to check with the hospital where they were born. She's an OBGYN and said the hospital's pathology department should have that information on file, and should be able to provide me with the information I was seeking for FREE.

So I called the hospital and couldn't believe I waited this long to get the information they had on file for two years. When the pathologist told me that the tests done on the placenta revealed the girls were identical twins, with 100% accuracy, I was shocked. I was prepared to find out they were fraternal, because the twins look so different to me, but the doctor confirmed they are 100% identical. It's such an odd feeling. Perhaps it's my trained eye, or perhaps I just wanted to make sure I would never mix up their identities, but I can clearly see the difference in their eyes, face shape, and height. They look like two different individuals to me. Now that I have found out they are identical twins, it's difficult for me to start seeing how they are similar to each other after I have spent the past two years noticing all their differences. And apparently, my son and I were the only ones on the planet who thought they were fraternal twins (my son could always tell them apart, it was some kind of sibling magic). I told my neighbor the other day about the news, "Guess what, the girls are identical twins," and she responded with, "I could have told you that." It's like the "Big Duh News of the Day" to everyone who hears it.

It's really neat though, looking at them now. Identical twins don't run in my family, this is the first time something like this has ever happened. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with twins, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to handle them, plus looking after my son (he was work enough). My uncle told me an old saying, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle, you'll be able to manage just fine," and somehow, I did. But at the time, I was convinced God had me confused with someone else!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Mario Lopez has a Secret Dancing Past

Mario Lopez is sizzling on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. He claimed recently that he has had no formal dance experience other than break dancing with his buddies when he was a child. Come on, who's he kidding? Although Mario Lopez never sang, he was a background dancer on Kids Incorporated with Fergie and Martika for the longest time, and he also used to dance on Saved by the Bell. YouTube has a plethora of old Kids Incoroporated clips you can find Mario dancing in, but the funniest one I found was this one (from a recent Jimmy Kimmel broadcast) where he's a dancing pirate.

In this next one, Mario dances as "A.C. Slater" on Saved by the Bell

No formal dance experience, eh? This guy seems to have been dancing since he was in his mother's womb.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Paris Hilton and Her Bag Full O' Pot

This inside of Paris Hilton's Balenciaga purse was recently photographed by hungry photogs when she opened it to re-apply her tacky nail polish. Inside, a bag full of pot was seen, or is it really pot? To me, it looks an awful lot like betel nuts, (or chalia, or supari, as it's known in Asian countries), but Paris has never struck me as the type to chew betel nuts. Check out my post on Celebitchy and decide for yourself.

Brangelina and Maddox Take a Rickshaw Ride

I knew there would be more photos of Brangelina in India. Here, Brad and Angie decided to take Maddox on a rickshaw ride on the streets of Pune. They only managed to ride in it for 20 minutes before they decided to head back to the hotel. The paparazzi were being relentless and wouldn't stop chasing them.

Aww, too bad they had to cut the ride short. I used to ride in a rickshaw in Karachi when I used to visit relatives there and it was pretty fun. The maximum occupancy allowed is three, but some people used to ghetto it and squeeze in four or five, especially if the fourth and fifth people were toddlers who could sit on laps. It's a shame Brangelina can't even go for a joyride without being trailed by the photogs.

Also, on a similar note, I was speaking to my sister the other day and we were wondering why we never see paparazzi shots of Bollywood celebrities. We never see Aishwarya Rai ducking for cover under her handbag as she walks into a mall, or Rekha without her makeup. Every photo, even in Indian tabloids like Stardust, comes from a staged photo session where the celeb is informed in advance there will pictures taken so they better get their makeup on and fix their attitude. My sister said she thinks there are some laws in India that protect Bollywood celebs from being chased by paparazzi, and celebs can actually call the cops and have paparazzi arrested for invading their privacy and following them. Maybe my Indian readers can help me out here, (I've never been to India, so I wouldn't know), are they're laws protecting Bollywood celebs from paparazzi? Are the only reason the Indian paparazzi are out in full swing these days is because Angelina and Brad are not Indian and aren't protected by the same laws that protect Bollywood celebs? Enquiring minds want to know.

Photos are from Reuters

Freaky Link of the Night, Fergie's Blast From the Past

Before Fergie Ferg became a hit singer, she was a young, confused, innocent girl on the Disney show Kids Incorporated. I used to watch this show when I was little and had no idea that this girl would one day become a famous musician. In the link below, the problem is not with Fergie singing Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me", the problem is....... there's a a freaky Clown in the background practicing his yo-yo skills and planning to do something diabolical with a broomstick! When you're a kid you don't pick up on this stuff. Years later, when you are watching it from a parent's point of view, you wonder how this show managed to pass Disney's pedophile radar. I realize now that Kids Incorporated was one creepy show with heinous subliminal messages.

Watch the Video at: The In and Outs

I still don't know why clowns are considered funny. To this day, I find them scary as hell.

photo source:

Friday, October 06, 2006

Brangelina are in Pune, India

Brangelina and their three children have descended in Pune (pronounced Poona), India to begin filming A Mighty Heart, the story about the kidnapping and murder of journalist Daniel Pearl. Angelina Jolie will be playing Daniel's wife, Marianne. Even though the actual event happened in Karachi, Pakistan, the film will be shot in Pune because Bollywood actor Irfaan Khan (who plays a Pakistani agent in the movie) was denied a visa to Pakistan.

Everyone involved in the production is under strict confidentiality agreement not to leak the whereabouts of the Brangelinas to the press, but that didn't stop the Indian paparazzi from staking out their hotel to get the money shot.

The hotel where Brangelina is currently staying, Le Meridien.

The Indian paparazzi in the lobby are told to stay the fuck away by hotel management.

So the paparazzi decide to hover over the parking deck in hopes of getting a glimpse of the family arriving to the hotel.

The Brangelinas arrive in a Mercedes minibus

And finally, the money shot. We get to see Angelina walking into the hotel. No pics of the rest of the family yet, but I'm sure they'll be on the internet soon enough. I'm curious to see what kind of baby gear Angelina packed for this trip. I can't believe I just wrote that, but yes people, I really have no life. How pathetic am I? I could be doing something more productive with my time right now but no, I am sitting here on my laptop voraciously viewing pictures of Brangelina walking into a hotel in India, wondering if she packed a Bugaboo or a Plikomatic for her trip. I'm so obsessed.

A big huge thank you to Just Jared, for the awesome pics!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

B is for Benz

My son's preschool teacher told me the funniest story when I dropped him off at school this morning. Apparently R has made no secret of the fact that he is obsessed with luxury cars. He always notices the logos on the toy cars at school and only plays with the BMW or Mercedes ones. Sometimes Volkswagon, but it's always some luxury import. He's even made a friend, AJ, who shares his love of the BMW and all things automotive.

So this Monday, the class was learning about the letter B. When the teacher asked the class, "Can you name something that begins with the letter 'B'?" my son responded with, "Benz. B is for Benz."

I was surprised because I thought he would have responded with "B is for BMW" but I guess his tastes are changing. Well, as long as he's satisfied with the dinky-sized model cars, I think I shouldn't have a problem until he gets his driver's license, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Aishwarya Rai Finally Wears Aishwarya Beige

At the recent release of the Umrao Jaan music CD in India, Aishwarya Rai showed up wearing a cream sari with a bra top and, finally, the famous Aishwarya Beige lipstick. So this people, is what Loreal's Aishwary Beige lipstick looks like on Aishwarya Rai. I'm still sticking to my guns and saying this lipstick does abslutely nothing for South Asian skintones. I know some people will disagree with me, but I think this shade washes her out and is just plain boring. The only reason this lipstick shade even looks half normal on her is because she has vamped up her eyemakeup. For a lipstick to pass my test, it has to look good with no other makeup on my face. If I have to put on a full face of makeup and do the whole smokey eye thing just to make a lipstick appear, it's not worth it.

She still looks pretty though, and that cream sari looks really nice. But she should have worn a lipcolor with a hint of pink in it, I think that would have complemented her skin tone and the sari much better. I'm thinking MAC Hug Me with MAC Plum lipliner, that would have looked really nice.

Kate Winslet Wants to Be a Stay at Home Mom

Kate Winslet has announced that she wants to give up acting and be a stay at home mom for one year. She has two children ages 5 and 2, and she wants to "watch them grow and just enjoy the feeling of being very motherly."

She doesn't just want to be "motherly", she wants to be "very motherly." I feel very guilty now that even though I spend 24-7 with my kids, I don't feel very "motherly" all the time. In fact, most of the time, I'm wishing someone competent enough to handle all three of them could swoop in at a moment's notice and give me a break. I guess when Kate's at work she daydreams about being with her kids, but when I'm with my kids, I daydream about how nice it would be to be a movie star, or just get away from them and get some sleep. Or maybe take a shower once in a while, a shower would be nice.

My mom's been telling me for a while to hire some help but I've been resisting because it's hard to find someone I can trust with my kids. Plus there's the cost, childcare for three doesn't come cheap. But I'm starting to get burned out doing it all by myself, I think that looking into finding a reliable babysitter might be a good idea, even if its just for a couple of hours a week.

photo source: Celebitchy

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Steal Mahima's Chic Look

I love Mahima's outfit here. She's totally in style for fall with the monochromatic look (black is back!), and I like how she added a little fun to the outfit with layers of beaded jewelry. You can steal this look from Old Navy by pairing a long belted black cardigan with black capris or skinny jeans. Old Navy even has the ethnic jewelry to match. Wear a black camisole tank under the cardigan if you don't want to show too much cleavage.

Old Navy Belted Cardigan, $34.50

This necklace can be wrapped twice around your wrist to make a bracelet. Red Coral necklace, $9.99.

And let's not forget the lipstick. I've found the perfect nude lipstick to go with this outfit. It's called Nepal, by Vasanti Cosmetics. Use Vasanti lipliner in Nile with it, and top it off with Norweigan lip shine (also by Vasanti).

Rakhi Sawant Has a Fishy Tattoo

I was looking at these shots from Rakhi Sawant's latest video where she's dressed up as, surprise, surprise, a hot village girl being chased by village guys. The dress was not as shocking as those little fish fins peeking out from her waistband. What in the world? I didn't know Rakhi had a tattoo, in such a provocative place? Any guesses on what this is a tatoo of? I'm guessing it's a fish, and it looks an awful lot like the one Alyssa Milano has in the same spot.

photo source: nowrunning

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Jessica's E-mail to Creepy Pa Joe

Dear Creepy Pa Joe,

Please stop hiding in the bushes and taking pictures of me and Ashlee sunbathing. My friends are starting to say you're "weird" and you're creeping us out. I'm sorry you didn't get that pimp job you applied for, I thought you were like, so perfect for it. I love you. Okay, I have to go now and check my lipstick in the reflection of my Blackberry screen, did you know that I can do that? Yeah, people think I'm so dumb, but I figured out that if you look at your Blackberry screen from just the right angle, it can double as a makeup mirror. Wait a minute, is that you taking a picture of me typing this e-mail right now? I can see you in my Blackberry! Just stop it now, okay?


Friday, September 22, 2006

Mush to Bush: Read It and Weep

photo credit: Jim Young/Reuters

Today's latest showdown between the Mush and the Bush is just too hilarious. The rumour is that after 9/11, some American government officials went over to Pakistan to to tell the generals they better be with the U.S. on the war on terror or they would be "bombed into the Stone Age." Bombing in Afghanistan had already begun after 9/11 when Bush was trying to "smoke Al-Qaeda out" of the mountains, and Pakistan was going to be next if they didn't help hunt Osama down.

Today, when reporters quizzed the Mush and the Bush about it, Bush got a "Oh my gosh, how did you find out?" look on his face and tried his best to deny the whole thing, only to end up sticking his head up his ass. When the question came into Mush's court, Mush responded by telling the press to buy his book Monday to find out the truth.

The biggest surprise to me in this whole story was that Musharraf has a book coming out full of juicy political gossip. I didn't know he had a tell-all in the works, but now that I know about it, I've got to get my hands on this book! I just checked Amazon, and they are selling it $10 off list price, but the shipping takes a while and I can't wait that long. I forsee a trip to Barnes and Nobles this Monday. While the kids will be engrossed in story hour, I'll be enjoying a nice Mocha Latte and this book full of dirty secrets. I've gotta hand it to Musharraf though, think of him what you may, but he sure knows how to sell a book.

72 Crayons

Okay, here it is. Pictured here are 48 crayons that were snapped in half by my son, although once he taught the snapping technique to his little sisters, they helped him complete the job. Actually, the total number of crayons destroyed was 72, because there was a pack of 24 Crayola crayons that my son snapped in half all by himself before I gave him a second chance and added 48 fresh Rose Art crayons to their crayon box (which, by the way, is a Shrek lunchbox).

When he was questioned, "Why?" his first response was, "Because it was fun to snap them and hear them snap." When I started giving him the lecture of "Do you realize crayons cost money?" (which, by the way, I never thought I would ever say in my life to anyone!), he changed his answer to, "Well, actually I wanted Z and H to be able to share the same crayon, so I broke them in half for them."

Oh, he is smart. He played the "But I was trying to share and be nice" card.

Needless to say, the kids spent about 3 days without any crayons, while my son completed his homework with some Crayola crayons I had hidden in a cupboard specifically for homework purposes. Then I realized, the girls were being punished more than R. He gets to play with crayons in school, but they didn't need to suffer because of his mistake. So I've given them another chance, and bought them Dollar Store crayons to use in the house. Yes, I agree, they are crappy, they fall apart and are very waxy. But they were three for a dollar at the Dollar Store, and until they learn to respect the brand name that is Crayola, that's the way it's gonna be for a while.