Steal Mahima's Chic Look

I love Mahima's outfit here. She's totally in style for fall with the monochromatic look (black is back!), and I like how she added a little fun to the outfit with layers of beaded jewelry. You can steal this look from Old Navy by pairing a long belted black cardigan with black capris or skinny jeans. Old Navy even has the ethnic jewelry to match. Wear a black camisole tank under the cardigan if you don't want to show too much cleavage.

Old Navy Belted Cardigan, $34.50

This necklace can be wrapped twice around your wrist to make a bracelet. Red Coral necklace, $9.99.

And let's not forget the lipstick. I've found the perfect nude lipstick to go with this outfit. It's called Nepal, by Vasanti Cosmetics. Use Vasanti lipliner in Nile with it, and top it off with Norweigan lip shine (also by Vasanti).

Rakhi Sawant Has a Fishy Tattoo

I was looking at these shots from Rakhi Sawant's latest video where she's dressed up as, surprise, surprise, a hot village girl being chased by village guys. The dress was not as shocking as those little fish fins peeking out from her waistband. What in the world? I didn't know Rakhi had a tattoo, in such a provocative place? Any guesses on what this is a tatoo of? I'm guessing it's a fish, and it looks an awful lot like the one Alyssa Milano has in the same spot.





photo source: nowrunning

Jessica's E-mail to Creepy Pa Joe

Dear Creepy Pa Joe,

Please stop hiding in the bushes and taking pictures of me and Ashlee sunbathing. My friends are starting to say you're "weird" and you're creeping us out. I'm sorry you didn't get that pimp job you applied for, I thought you were like, so perfect for it. I love you. Okay, I have to go now and check my lipstick in the reflection of my Blackberry screen, did you know that I can do that? Yeah, people think I'm so dumb, but I figured out that if you look at your Blackberry screen from just the right angle, it can double as a makeup mirror. Wait a minute, is that you taking a picture of me typing this e-mail right now? I can see you in my Blackberry! Just stop it now, okay?

Love,
Jessica

Mush to Bush: Read It and Weep

photo credit: Jim Young/Reuters



Today's latest showdown between the Mush and the Bush is just too hilarious. The rumour is that after 9/11, some American government officials went over to Pakistan to to tell the generals they better be with the U.S. on the war on terror or they would be "bombed into the Stone Age." Bombing in Afghanistan had already begun after 9/11 when Bush was trying to "smoke Al-Qaeda out" of the mountains, and Pakistan was going to be next if they didn't help hunt Osama down.

Today, when reporters quizzed the Mush and the Bush about it, Bush got a "Oh my gosh, how did you find out?" look on his face and tried his best to deny the whole thing, only to end up sticking his head up his ass. When the question came into Mush's court, Mush responded by telling the press to buy his book Monday to find out the truth.

The biggest surprise to me in this whole story was that Musharraf has a book coming out full of juicy political gossip. I didn't know he had a tell-all in the works, but now that I know about it, I've got to get my hands on this book! I just checked Amazon, and they are selling it $10 off list price, but the shipping takes a while and I can't wait that long. I forsee a trip to Barnes and Nobles this Monday. While the kids will be engrossed in story hour, I'll be enjoying a nice Mocha Latte and this book full of dirty secrets. I've gotta hand it to Musharraf though, think of him what you may, but he sure knows how to sell a book.

72 Crayons

Okay, here it is. Pictured here are 48 crayons that were snapped in half by my son, although once he taught the snapping technique to his little sisters, they helped him complete the job. Actually, the total number of crayons destroyed was 72, because there was a pack of 24 Crayola crayons that my son snapped in half all by himself before I gave him a second chance and added 48 fresh Rose Art crayons to their crayon box (which, by the way, is a Shrek lunchbox).

When he was questioned, "Why?" his first response was, "Because it was fun to snap them and hear them snap." When I started giving him the lecture of "Do you realize crayons cost money?" (which, by the way, I never thought I would ever say in my life to anyone!), he changed his answer to, "Well, actually I wanted Z and H to be able to share the same crayon, so I broke them in half for them."

Oh, he is smart. He played the "But I was trying to share and be nice" card.

Needless to say, the kids spent about 3 days without any crayons, while my son completed his homework with some Crayola crayons I had hidden in a cupboard specifically for homework purposes. Then I realized, the girls were being punished more than R. He gets to play with crayons in school, but they didn't need to suffer because of his mistake. So I've given them another chance, and bought them Dollar Store crayons to use in the house. Yes, I agree, they are crappy, they fall apart and are very waxy. But they were three for a dollar at the Dollar Store, and until they learn to respect the brand name that is Crayola, that's the way it's gonna be for a while.

Kajol is a Bigger Diva than J. Lo!

Kajol recently went into a hissy fit while promoting a new line of dolls called Bollywood Legends, one of which is made in her likeness. What ticked her off was when a photographer asked her to pose with her doll. Kajol got angry and refused, acting as if it were the biggest insult in the world.




I don't see why she had to act that way. After all, it's a doll that looks like you, wouldn't posing with that doll be a great photo op? Don't you want little girls to buy your doll over that of Priyanka Chopra's? After someone reminded Kajol she's being paid by the toymaker to promote the doll, Kajol agreed to pose.



But she had a be a bitch and refused to take the doll out of the box like the photographer had asked.


I turned on my Chic Cam to zoom in on Kajol and her doll's face to see how similar the real Kajol and the doll Kajol were.






I don't see why Kajol was so hesitant about posing with her doll. Other than the doll has a really fat nose, they got her eyebrows and and other features dead on. Except the smile. The toymakers should have drawn a scowl instead of a smile because this is one angry diva.

Also, I just checked the Toys R Us UK site and Kajol should consider herself lucky that she was even selected to be part of the line. Shahrukh Khan is sold out, and there are less than five dolls left of Priyanka Chopra and Kajol. Hrthik Roshan is the only doll there's plenty of in stock. I saw the doll on the Toys R Us site and it looks more like Brad Pitt with black hair than Hrthik. I guess people are not buying it looks like him. I would have thought Aishwarya Rai would have the been the toymakers first choice as a Bollywood Legend, but they are planning to release more dolls in this line so I'll watch out for her doll in the future. An Aishwarya doll is something I would like for myself, and this time I'll make sure I hide it from my daughters until they are old enough to appreciate a doll. I already made the mistake of buying them Diwali Barbie, and within a few days the doll was buck-naked with her head popped off somewhere.

Someone's Been Hover Pissing at The View, Could it be Gisele?

Joy Behar is perplexed and furious, and she wants some answers. Someone has been hover pissing in the ladies room at The View, leaving pee all over the toilet seats, and Joy wants to know who would do such a thing? Joy says it always seems to happen when a supermodel visits the show. Yesterday, she asked guest Heidi Klum to explain "Heidi, what is the reason for that?" prompting Heidi to ask, "Was it Gisele (Bundchen)?" Joy responded with a sly smile and said, "I'm not gonna name names." Heidi then went on to explain that she's a hover pisser too, but tries her best to make sure all the pee goes in the toilet.

Please, when will this madness end? I don't blame Joy Behar for asking this often unsaid question. Women have remained quiet about this for too long, and it's time we stood up for what's right in the bathroom stall. I'm waging a personal war against hover pissing too and I can totally relate to Joy's disappointment at seeing dirty toilet seats. Way to go Joy Behar, you are my new homegirl. Represent.

For a Video clip of the conversation, click HERE. The clip is titled "Potty Training" ( for adult women) and shows Heidi Klum demonstrating her hover piss stance.

Current Hilton Sisters Terror Alert Level: LOW

As long as their legs remain crossed, the world can continue to enjoy a pleasant life without the threat of vag slips or sex tapes from the Hilton Sisters.

Posh at Fashion Week

I think this picture can put to rest all the rumours that Posh is pregnant. She's not. That being said, I actually kind of like her outfit. I like the combination of the tartan plaid skirt with the crisp white shirt. Howeva, she should button up the shirt, just a little, and ditch the catwoman gloves. Those gloves......they just don't belong with this ensemble.

What's in My Bag

Okay, so the lovely Leilouta tagged me to reveal the contents of my purse and I couldn't have asked for a more delightful tag. As soon as I got the chance, I plunked the bugger down in the middle of my family room floor and let it all out. And yes, that's Ernie peeking from the basket behind there. I won him for my son at the County Fair when he was one year old. He had a choice to pick Ernie, Cookie Monster, or Big Bird, and he reached out and grabbed Ernie. Ever since then, Ernie has been an honorary member of the family. But he still sleeps in a toy basket.

Now on with the purse post. Here's what's in my bag today:

Small jar of Vaseline (we all have chapped lips, this stuff is the best)

Bath and Body Works Just For Kids Anti-Bacterial Hand Foam (do you really need to ask why?)

Wallet

Gym Pass

Combination Lock (for gym locker)

About 50 3-day free passes for the gym (the salesperson handed me a stack of these, I have yet to hand one out to someone)

A crumpled napkin from Starbucks

Retractable Measuring Tape by LG

Two mini jaw clips (for the girls), and a little "ouchless" hair elastic

Mommy-size jaw clip

A scrunchie (for when no one is looking. I know this is a huge fashion faux paux but I still love scrunchies)

Cell Phone

Cetaphil Hand Cream

Clinique Deep comfort Body Butter (I use this as hand cream, it came in a gift with purchase)

Suze Orman's 9 Steps to Financial Freedom (This is an excellent book, and it's not just for financially clueless housewives. Men, women, the young, the old, the rich, the poor, everyone can benefit from this book. I'm on chapter six right now and have realized my broker has been ripping me off with hidden finance charges in my son's 529 plan. He's working for himself, not for me. I'm calling him this week to tell him he's toast. There's no fooling this mama anymore.)

Mom's Plan It (I am not a Blackberry or Palm Pilot person. I need to write it down on old fashioned paper. I plan menus for the week, and write down grocery lists and appointments in it. It helps keep me organized. Or at least make me feel like I tried.)

Winsor Dozen Pilates Guide (I packed this for the trip recently, so I could do pilates in the hotel room. I only ended up using it once.)

Coupon for a local Car Wash

Receipts from Toys R Us and Walgreens

Gymbucks

My son's health and immunization forms for pre-school

Gap Coupons

Rolaids (these are for the husband, but I hold them for him in my purse)

Mirrored Compact

A little brochure I picked up from Canada that gives Travel Tips for Kids and Environment. One of the tips here is "Plan your itinerary, then cut it in half."

Makeup Bag (that's the pink little bag which has a plethora of contents of its own):

• Chanel Glossimer Lipgloss in Jaipur
• Mac Lipstick in Pink Apertif
• Bobbi Brown Lipstick in Rum Raisin
• Revlon Tweezers (because I'm a hairy chick. Also, save your money, Revlon tweezers work just as good as Tweezerman for less than half the price.)
• Mac Lipstick in "O"
• Mac Lipglass in Viva Glam V
• Mac Plum lipliner
• Bobbi Brown lipliner in Raisin
• Clinique travel-size perfume in Happy To Be
  

I also carry another bag, the Diaper Bag, which has all the wipes, diapers, baby lotion, Desitin Creamy rash cream, spare pair of pants, and underwear for my kids. It also contains bottled water or sippy cups, disposable bibs, crayons, bandaids, and washcloths. That bag also has emergency packets of Motrin (for the headaches my husband and I get), Children's Motrin, and maxi pads. And Mac Lipglass in Little Vi (I've got lippies everywhere. I don't ever want to be caught without lipstick or gloss, it's the one item of makeup I can't live without.)

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged. Especially you, Sadaf T. :)

L.Lo Gets Her Bag Back

"I got it back, bitches."


Mohawk dude says, "Thank me."

So after all the hoopla of losing a $12,000 bag full of 1 million dollars in jewelry (and asthma medication, the rest of the drugs were not declared), Lindsay Lohan finally got her Orange Hermes Birkin back. Gosh, I can't believe someone would walk around with that much money on them. That bag is so delish, if it were mine, I'd never throw it onto a luggage cart at the airport, I'd keep it on my arm at all times.

Also, it seems even after getting her bag back, L. Lo's still being careless. The side closure on her bag is undone. Should that Lemon-Lime Clown with the cherry mohawk accidentally trip her with his cowboy boots, all her "stuff" is going to fall to the floor.

Back in the U.S.A. and..... OMG! Suri Exists!

Hey everyone, I'm back from vacation. We spent the last week in Canada touring the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. It was as fun as it could be with three children in tow. I often feel vacationing with little kids is like having a picnic in the rain. It's a bittersweet retreat where you don't really get to have as much fun as you wanted, but you try to make the most of it the best you can. It was one of those vacations where, by the time I got home, I felt like I needed another vacation to recover from the vacation. Oh well, at least we got to get away and I didn't have to cook for a couple of days. But next time, I'm going to take an umbrella style stroller for the twins. We have the Graco Duo Glider right now, and it nearly killed us to fold that thing up, along with my son's Pliko umbrella stroller, and carry our diaper bag, purse, and children onto the People Mover bus that took us from sight to sight. One of my friends who also has twin girls recently got a side by side umbrella style stroller for her twins, I think I might check it out at the store this week for myself. Even though the side by side strollers are a bitch to pass through most doorways, it might be handy for travelling because they fold up easily.

I have to say, however, I absolutely ADORE the Canadian accent. I love the way they talk. I think if I spent a couple more days up there, I would've started talking like a Canadian permanently. I've already adopted the "eh" into my daily vocabulary. I love saying "eh?" after my sentences, it makes me feel cool. I have a friend who is a Canadian ex-pat living in Jersey who says "eh" after everything and she's got me saying it now too! I also like how they pronounce words that end with the letters "0-u-t" like "owt".

I started talking like a Canadian while I was up there, but once we hit the border to re-enter the U.S. at Buffalo, N.Y., my American accent returned quickly. I didn't want the customs agent to have any doubts about my citizenship, so it was back to "yeah, we live in Jersey" kind of talk. But it was funny to hear the customs agent reply with a, "Oh, so you're from Jersey, eh?". Canada seems to have rubbed off on everyone living up there.

Also during the trip, our kids discovered that they too can enjoy a special drink at Starbucks with mom and dad. All three of them are now official fans of the Mocha Frappucino (they were wired for a few hours before bedtime after having this drink, they shared a Venti size). My two year old daughter H. says it tastes exactly like Jello chocolate pudding, or as she likes to call it, "Gluck Gluck Pudding". I love how two year-olds mispronounce words. Z used to call my glasses "gal-la-lees" until I told my sister about it in front of her. I told my sister, "You have to hear how Z. says "glasses", it's so cute, she says "ga-la-lees". When I asked Z. to say the word "glasses" for her aunt, Z. took a hard look at my sister, took a deep breath, and said, "glasses". The proper way. She corrected it right then and there. I thought ga-la-lees was so cute and tried to get her to say it again, but Z. got wise and continued to say glasses. She's really into being a grown-up and doing things properly, I've got to find a way to slow her down and continue being cute.

Well, it's late and I've got a mountain of laundry to do tomorrow, but I did see the Suri pictures while I was up in Canada. OMG! It was so weird. Although the baby is cute, Tom continues to look creepy. What was with that photo of him hiding Suri in his jacket? It only continues to fuel the theory that he is a controlling weirdo.



And of course, now that the world has finally seen a glimpse of Suri and seen proof of her existence, new conspiracy theories are floating around about Suri's origin. Many people believe Chris Klein may be the father, or that the baby is a Chinese adoption. Some are wondering if that is really Suri's hair or if she is wearing an Elvis wig.

Gallery of the Absurd took all the conspiracy theories surrounding the Asian eyes, Elvis hair, Tom's real sexual orientation, and the alien mothership to create this rendering of the what the first portrait should have looked like:





There's alot of symbolism in this picture with the pink triangle beam and the obvious Asian look, but see if you can figure out what the 8's on Tom's shirt and the sharp claws on his fingernails signify. I'm most curious about what the smoke coming out of the volcano symbolizes. I'm guessing the smoke symbolizes the lies TomKate has been telling the press about their crazy shenanigans.