Thursday, February 23, 2006

Pregancy Takes its Toll on Angelina

photo source: Just Jared


Maddox looks really cute but Angelina is starting to look like a very tired mommy. I know it's important for her to make sure Maddox doesn't feel excluded and has enough "Mommy time" but Angie really needs to start giving herself a break. She's almost 8 months pregnant, why is she still insisting on carrying Maddox around? And travelling so much? She needs to kick back at home, put on some comfy sweats (black of course!) and zone out in front of the TV with a nice warm bowl of mashed potatoes.

I'm totally on Team Jolie. I've always liked Angelina. Despite her punk past, she's seems to be a very caring person inside. I don't see Jennifer helping poor children or helping with United Nations efforts, it's Jolie. Not to mention Angelina is an amazing actress and a great mom. And ever since I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I further believe Brad and Angelina belong together, they just have amazing chemistry and look so good together.

Now that Brad and Angelina are going to become parents of three children, they are going to have to realize that at least one child is going to be juggled in the air at all times. No more "I'll take Zahara and you take Maddox" and off we go to our separate or same destination. In three months it's going to be "Brad, can you take Zahara and Maddox to the park while I nurse the baby?" or "Maddox, why don't you sit here and watch cartoons, and feed yourself your macaroni and cheese" while Angelina tends to the newborn or spoon feeds Zahara. Once you have more than two children, the parents are automatically outnumbered. I myself didn't even have a lead time, I went from having one child to having three children age 2 and under within two years. I don't know how I managed but somehow I did. My husband helped alot and we had a babysitter who would help us during the day for the first six weeks. Someone was always crying and feeling neglected those first couple months, myself included, but we got through it. I'm sure Angelina is going to have at least two nannies to help her though, she's got to. No matter how much she likes to do it all herself, all moms of multiples need a break now and then. And unless she allows Maddox to start walking by himself, she's going to need a triple stroller too.

Also, I must comment on this picture I found while scanning the archives of The Superficial. Maddox is almost the same age as my son, and looking at this photo made me laugh. I imagine the conversation must have gone something like this before they left the house:

Angie: "Maddox, it's cold outside, please wear pants."
Maddox: "No! I want to wear shorts and my Napolean Dynamite boots!"
Angie: "No Maddox, wear pants and sneakers...okay at least wear pants, your legs are going to get cold."
Maddox: "Nooo! I said NO Mama!" (cut to Maddox throwing a tantrum and starting to cry)
Brad: "Just let him wear the shorts Angie, we're just going to the grocery store."
Maddox: "Dad said I could wear the shorts! I want to wear the shorts!"
Angie: (turning towards Maddox, rolling her eyes) "Fine! Let your legs get cold, I don't care!"

At least that's how it would've gone down in my house. I love how they have a bag of Cheetos in the backseat for Maddox to munch on while they ride in the car. (Click the photo to enlarge) Cheetos are like manna from heaven for children (and Britney Spears).

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Vampire Twins Wear Badgley Mischka

"Must...Drink...Blood."


I know many people have already heard that the Olsen twins are now advertising for Badgley Mischka.
"Ashley and Mary-Kate have grown up to become America's young style icons. They have an amazing sense of fashion and individuality that intrigued us," the design duo of Mark Badgley and James Mischka said Wednesday in a statement. [source]
Have Mark and James been seeing the same MK and Ashley we have?



I have to agree with Mr. Blackwell, they look like bag ladies. Ashley still manages to look a little put together sometimes, but MK usually looks like she is wearing her entire closet at once. This picture of MK just speaks for itself.


MK sporting the "I've been to Hell and Back" look.

I swear, if my girls ever start dressing like this they are so gonna be grounded.

Fashionistas in Training

Today we were at the mall, and I spotted a smart young girl, college age perhaps, carrying a nice Louis Vuitton look-alike. My Mom has an eye for bags and spotted it too. Both of us were thinking inside our heads, "nice bag, but it's a fake because Louis Vuitton doesn't put glitter on the Manhattan PM bag." Guess who blurted out what we were all the thinking! My three year old son R. "That's a fake Louis Vuitton, Mama did you see that, it was a fake." How did he know?

Aside from the fact that he's the Chic Mommy's son and it's probably in his blood, my son is a label magnet. When we are not reading Chicka Chicka ABC or The Three Little Pigs, we are reading Allure, Vogue, W, and InStyle together. He looks at pictures and asks me "what does that say, what is that? Is that (fill in the blank with Lipstick, Handbag, shoe, jacket, necklace, etc...)? He can't read well yet, but he can spot the logos of every major fashion merchandiser. He also knows there are fakes of the real thing.

I once got duped on the internet thinking I was getting a real Chanel bag from a website called efashionstore.com. It ended up being a fake. I was so mad. I had paid almost $1,000 for a bag that had Chanel written on it with a white-out pen! I immediately returned it and didn't get my refund until I got American Express Fraud Department on their asses. As a result, my son realized there is REAL Chanel and FAKE Chanel.

Don't get me wrong. I don't judge people on whether they carry the real thing or the knock-off. Some of the prices on designer handbags are just ridiculous and I would rather get a granite countertop in my kitchen than buy a Fugly Fendi Spy for $5,000. If you really want to buy a knock-off to impress someone, make sure it's a good knock-off. I know a place if you click here (I've purchased the Chanel Multipocket Reporter Bag from here, it's our secret that it's a fake! Check out their package deals, you get lots of bags for the buck!) I don't think you have to carry a fancy designer bag to be considered "in" though. There are so many companies like Michael by Michael Kors, Banana Republic, and Francesco Biasia who make really nice "inspired" bags and some original designs for reasonable prices. These bags look equally, if not more chic, than the high priced bags. I recently saw Coach selling their version of Chanel's Multipocket Reporter bag for almost 1/10th the price of a Chanel (which was a whopping $3,700!).

But back to the bag I purchased from efashionstore.com, what I was angry at was that the bag was supposed to be the real thing and turned out to be a fake! If I'm buying a fake, I'd like to be told that from the start so I don't blow too much money. My son asked me how I knew it was a fake and I proceeded to show him the lining, the lack of authenticity card, the white-out on the logo. He took notes. (I got my Chanel education from the Burberry Princess.)

I own only one original LV bag, it's the Speedy and it was a gift from my Mom. My son studied the bag and looked at all the details and is now adept at identifying real LV's as well.

When we entered Nordstrom once, he faced the Chanel cosmetics counter for the first time. He was in awe that Chanel made makeup too. He ran over and asked the saleswoman, "Is this the REAL Chanel?" and she's like, "Yes," (she's probably thinking WTF?) and my son yells across to me, "Mama come here, they are selling the REAL Chanel makeup!" Cue the camera to me cringing thinking everyone in this snooty store probably thinks I'm some Chinatown junkie who buys fake Chanels off the street. The saleswoman was nice though, and was impressed that my son recognized her LV bag (it was real).

Before anyone thinks I'm pushing my son on the Queer Eye wagon, let me just say that he is equally a wizard at indentifying cars, simply from looking at them or hearing their horn. It's lke Rain Man sometimes. He is so GMC happy that he once went to the dealership with my husband and he identified every car in the store. For that he got a GMC plaque from the dealership (the red one they put on the grill on the front of the car) and we hung it up in his room.

The girls are almost two and they are turning into accessories magnets. Z loves sunglasses, the kind Nicole Richie wears and H is all about her purses and bags (wonder she gets that from?). They love to admire jewellry and stuff from their little stroller seats. I even heard some guy telling his wife, "wow, she is starting them young." I'm not really pushing anything really, they just seem to like sparkly things and play dress up on their own. I can't wait until they are older and we can go shopping together. My little Lloyd Boston can come too, to tell us what not to wear and what to buy.

Why you should never think out loud in front of a three year old

My three year old son R is a sponge. The following is an example of why I need to stop thinking out loud:

One day, I was looking in the mirror and said, "ugh, I am so fat." My son replied, "Is that why you're all blowed up like a balloon?"

Another day I had a huge fight with the husband while he was at work and I was at home (where else would I be?) . He cut me off and said he needed to deal with more important matters at work and hung up on me. I was so angry I spoke out loud and said, "I hate him, he's such a jerk-off". My son, who was sitting in the family room playing with his legos replied, "No he's not, he's an asshole." (I've called the husband an asshole on several occasions in front of R thinking he didn't understand. I was wrong!) The husband came home later that night to hear my son calling him an asshole. Husband asked me why R is calling him an asshole? I said, "I don't know, he must have learned it from you!"

But the grand finale happened today, at my parents house. My daughter Z decided to have a food fight with her sister and threw rice all over the table, the floor, the wall, everywhere. I looked at the huge disaster and spoke out loud, "Please somebody shoot me now," and my son replied, "I can't. I don't have a gun." I was shocked and just looked at him thinking (to myself this time), 'I can't believe he took me literally'. My son thought I didn't understand him so he tried to clarify by saying, "I can't shoot you, I left my Power Rangers gun in New Jersey."

Monday, February 20, 2006

Nick Wants the Jewellry and Money from Jessica

Nick Lachey has had it with his trampy wife and wants back all the jewellry he bought for her plus spousal support. I actually sympathize with him, he deserves it for having to put up with her crazy father Papa Joe, her dumb personality, and the public humiliation he's going to endure now that the whole world knows she was cheating on him while he was in Fiji. He cited "irreconcilable differences" on his divorce papers, but had he known, he would have slapped Adam Levine's picture on them. [source]


Nick: "Fork it over bitch, I paid for that bling!"
Jessica: "But I thought we meant something to
each other, I saved my virginity for you!"


Nick: "Whatever, slut. I want that stuff back by tomorrow, now if you'll excuse me I have to go punch this guy in the face. I know you've seen him, he looks like this."


Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sibling Rivalry Starting Too Early

Last night we went out to dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's house. My aunt asked my son R if he loves his sisters, and he said, "I like H but I don't like Z". When my aunt asked him why he doesn't like Z, he said "because she's always with Mama."

My aunt figured out in 5 minutes what I have been trying to figure out for months, why R is partial to H. I thought it was because R and H are both outgoing and like the same foods, colors, and activities. H gets his jokes while Z is still trying to figure out why everyone is laughing. Z is a littly shy too which doesn't help when we are socializing with other families with kids. Z will cling to me while R and H mingle.

I think the reason R thinks Z is "always with Mama" is because whenever there is a fight amongst them, R always takes H's side regardless and Z is left to fend for herself so I, being the "Mama", pick up Z to wipe her tears and yell at the others to stop being mean to their sister. R sees me and Z as a team and him and H as a team. Although H, being a twin, can't bear to see her sister cry and tries to console her too, but R pulls her arm and says "No H! You're on my side!"

But that's not all. I later asked R why he doesn't love Z. I said "She's your sister, she loves you," to which he replies "no, she hit me in my boys (we taught him to call his privates "boys") with my Power Ranger gun, it hurt me for days, I don't love her, she's not my sister." I'm shocked. Just because little Z, who is only 20 months old, accidentally hit her 3 year old brother in the boys with a gun, he hates her now. Why?

I gave up trying to force a resolution after I realized the parties involved aren't that capable of understanding my request. I'm hoping it's just a phase that will pass because many times I see them all playing together quite nicely, and God help anyone who happens to hurt Z outside the family. When we were at a dinner party once and some 2 year old hit Z, R went after him relentlessly and made him apologize to her for it (after wrestling him to the ground). But when a fight breaks out amongst the sibs, it's usually between R and Z, leaving H as the Switzerland in the middle.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Simpson Clones

Whew! I finally cleaned up my blog. I may fiddle with the colors still but I think I have a good base to work with. That other template was beginning to drive me nuts.

So to finish off a late night, I present to you yet another young starlet who wants to be like Jessica Simpson. She's got the hair, the sunglasses, the expensive Hermes Birkin bag, can it be Jessica? No, it's....



Friday, February 17, 2006

Posting for a profile image


There's nothing really special in this post except that I need to upload an image to put on my profile. I tried flickr and hello and I was too technically challenged to figure out the url stuff. oh well. here's what I'm going to be using as my profile photo. It's just a picture of some Pakistani model wearing a shalwar kameez. I can't remember where I lifted the photo, maybe it was BargelloShop? If I'm infringing on anyone's rights let me know.

Fickle, Fickle

Just like I get bored with my hairstyle after a while, I was getting bored with my template. So I changed it. The old one was too complicated to edit and I really wanted a template that would frame my photos better. This one has a more NYC vibe and the html source is much easier to manipulate as well.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Smirking Chimp speaks again!



"I'm the Prezadent....no really I am."


"Keep doing as I say moron or I'll shoot you too."


So Bush called Cheney's explanation of the shooting "strong and powerful", just like his puppet strings.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Oh Puhleeese!

The fine print says: "(Gulp!) Shocked I'm a mom? You
should know that by now that milk's nine essential
nutrients make for one irresistible body. got milk?"


All I could think when I saw this photo was "Shut up, bitch!" [photo source: Just Jared]

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Do you have these jeans in a size FAT?

I've never been happy with my weight. When I was a size 6 I wished I was a 4, when I was an 8 I wanted to be a 6 again, and when I was a 10, 12, and then a 14 (after I delivered my firstborn) I wished I could just settle into a size 8 and never obsess about my weight again. Right now I'm a 12 and I've been that way since I had the twins last year. I know a size 12 is an average size, but why do I feel like such a fatty when I go shopping? Most high-end designers like Citizens of Humanity and True Religion seem to stop at a size 10, as if to proclaim, "If you can't fit into a size 32 (that's how they are sizing them these days) you are too fat to wear our jeans!" I found a pair of size 34 jeans on clearance once at Guess but I think the only reason they fit me is because they had stretch in them. Seven jeans started selling at Lane Bryant, but as luck would have it, even their smallest size is big on me! I'm stuck in a limbo between mainstream sizes and plus size and the only way to get out is to lose the weight and get back to an 8. Meanwhile, there is one pair of jeans that fit me perfectly and hides the baby belly bulge in the process, it's the American Eagle Hipster Flare Jean in size 12 Petite (I'm 5'3"). They don't have stretch in them, which I like, because stretch jeans are nice in theory but lose their shape as you wear them, resulting in a sagging butt look. I hate stretch jeans, I'd rather buy the size that fits than buy stretch jeans.




I know what I need to do to lose the weight. I need to stop eating my kids' leftovers as my main meals and start exercising, but joining a gym in NJ isn't that easy. I have to tack on the babysitting charges for each visit to the gym which is at best $40 for 10 visits to watch three children for two hours. Total cost plus monthly gym membership, $150 per month. Not happening. I've done THE FIRM, which ended up bulking my thighs so I quit. I started Winsor Pilates and saw result within 10 days, but then the flu season began and I got off schedule and couldn't find time to do the DVD. I was so exhasted I would rather sleep (or blog!) instead of getting down and doing Pilates with peppy Mari Winsor. The fact that it is cold outside and we are indoors alot exacerbates the problem. Hopefully when spring rolls around we can get out on our triple stroller and start taking strolls again. That was working really well for me last summer until Old Man Winter came and the Flu Bug struck.

By the way, I received a package today from the husband who is away visiting his family in Pakistan. The kids are too young to travel right now so we're staying with my parents. He sent me a box of Godiva chocolates for Valentines day. I really appreciated the thought, but I don't know how to tell him I would rather he spend the money on buying me makeup from MAC instead? How am I supposed to feel better about myself when I am indirectly told to consume a pound of chocolate? Of course I won't eat the whole box (really I won't!) the kids will clean it out before I get a chance to eat even one, but I do appreciate the thought.

Where do I stab myself in the ears?

This is the title of the song my brother was just listening to on his iTunes before he got up to let me use the computer (the kids are asleep, yeah!). A song from the Underworld Evolution soundtrack, "Where do I stab myself in the ears (the Digital Doom remix)" is an odd song about a person's discontent with life. I don't know why my brother is into this stuff, although I too had a morbid period in my adolescence, I don't remember listening to this kind of stuff. The closest I got was "I'm Only Happy when it Rains" by Garbage. Then again, there was no iTunes or access to any mp3 in the world when I was a teenager.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Clearance Sale at Esprit!

I'm taking a break today from posting about unattainable luxuries to actually posting about stuff I can afford. Why feel bad about not being able to buy overpriced Manolos when you can go shopping at Esprit! They are having the best sale right now on stuff we actually will wear during this season (sweaters for East Coast chicks and cute light tops for the West Coasters). They have free shipping in U.S. for any order over $30, yes that's not a typo, spend thirty dollars on clothes and the shipping is free! I can do that in 10 seconds.


I wear this look almost on a daily basis (that is, IF I decide to finally get out of my pj's). I love the lace camisole (which only cost me $7 at the actual store!) peeking underneath a v-neck sweater. This look is from Esprit.



This I want to buy. This wrap sweater is only $20, and is lightweight enough to layer so I can wear it year round.

Now I've got to go find my purse so I can go shopping online. I love the internet.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Irresistible Manolo Blahniks

If there is one sandal I would like for spring it would be these. I know I won't get them, they cost more than the drapes in my living room and dining room combined, but they are too cool. Thanks to Lena's tech savvy, I finally am able to have borders around my photos now. Thanks girl, I would gift these to you if I could!


When Toddlers Attack

Did I say my little brother hogs the computer? I was so wrong, it's the pesky little kids! First of all they refuse to take their normal afternoon nap since I came up here so I don't get a single break in the entire day. ( I don't know how Angelina does it jetsetting all over the world, how does she keep her kids on a schedule?) Back home I could drop the twins in their cribs and my son in his bed and just get a break for 2 hours. I relish this break to do laundry, cooking, and my new favorite hobby, blogging. But here, they stay up till midnight and take no naps, and when I do get moment to sit on the computer they are climbing all over me onto the computer desk and making a giant mess of all my brother's stuff. Yesterday at 9:30 pm, I tried to get them to sleep, but it was useless, so I thought "maybe I'll try to update my blog". The kids followed me into the computer room. Once I got on the computer, my son starts shouting "I want to go to pbskids.org and play Paint with Caillou!" and the girls chimed in "Ka-ya, Ka-ya!". Frustrated, I was like "Fine, play it!" and left them alone with my three year old in command of the mouse and the twins as his cheerleading spectators. I went to my parents room to read the array of new fashion news (like The Notebook) my mom had just received from Neiman Marcus. I don't spend enough money at this store to be included on this elite mailing list, but that's okay with me. That's what parents are for, mooching. Anyway, I'm deeply involved educating myself about all the latest trends for spring like big bags, studded shoes, and ruffled shirts when I hear screaming from the computer room and my son is yelling "Bad girl, bad girl!". I run over to find my youngest twin (H) passed out on the floor (which I expected because she didn't nap all damn day!) and the older twin (Z) writing all over the computer monitor with a pencil! That did it for me. I yelled at the kids, told them they can't manage a computer and shut the thing off while my poor son was yelling "but I didn't do anything, it was Z!" I said "I know I'm not really yelling at you, I'm yelling at Z, she's a bad girl". This made my son feel better. I erased the pencil from the monitor and cleaned it with Windex. Then I marched them back to our room and just laid down with them so they would be forced to go to sleep.

So this is what it's going to be like until I go back to New Jersey. Before anyone asks, "Can't your parents watch them for you while you update for 20 minutes?" the answer is "No." Only my Dad helps me with the kids, my Mom just does the laundry and cooking and other household stuff, but feels she's done doing diapers and childcare so doesn't help me out with the childcare much. Right now my Dad took them downstairs to play with my old toys and some new ones we got for them in the family room while I take a break and zone out on the net. I'm going to try to post whenever I can because there is so much I want to talk about regarding the trends for spring and all the bags I'm lusting after. By the way, I figured out how Angelina keeps her kids on track while travelling all over the place, it's called nannies.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

At home with the 'rents and little bro

I'm up home staying with my parents for the next three weeks so I don't know if I'll be able to update that often. My Goth teenage brother hogs the computer all the time playing all his Goth iTunes (Soundtrack to Constantine? Check. Nine Inch Nails? Check. The Bravery? Check. Communcating with all his Goth friends on that cyberhaven for high schoolers (a.k.a. MySpace)? Check, Check, Check. He dresses totally Abercrombie on the outside so you would never know deep inside he likes Goth music. He's funny though, I really love him. The craziest stuff happens to him all the time and he keeps our family life interesting. Like the time a bat got into his room (our house backs to the woods and all sorts of deer, bats, and beavers live there). It was 2:00 am and a bat got inside his room. It must have come into the house when we opened the garage door at some point earlier in the day and it came in and hid in my brother's closet. At night, after he was done with his iTunes and MySpace session, he went to sleep. The bat came out of the closet and started flying around the room. My brother freaked out and tried to hit it with his pillow. That made the bat mad and it started charging at my brother. He didn't want to open his bedroom door for fear the bat might come into the room where I was sleeping with the kids, so he opened his window and jumped out of it. The bat did not follow. It liked my brother's room. Now my brother was outside at 3 AM, freezing cold, wearing only his t-shirt and boxers. But, he did have his cell phone with him (must have rememberd to take it before he jumped out the window.) He called my parents who were like "Where are you calling from? Outside the house?" and he's like "Yeah look out the window, I'm outside". By this time I woke up from the commotion too. My brother is yelling "There's a bat in my room, it tried to kill me. Don't let him out of my room and into the house, it will get the kids." My Dad is experienced in bat removal from living here (even though by profession he's a Psychiatrist) and proceeded to find the bat. He went into my brother's room and grabbed it into a towel and set it free outside. What a night!

If you ever experience a bat in your home, here's tip. If you're having trouble luring a bat out of it's hiding place take a tennis racket and wave it up and down in the air. The high pitched noise this creates drives bat crazy and they will come out, flying with poor coordination and agility. Once it's out, try to capture it by holding a towel in front and grabbing it inside. Then set it free outside. Try not to whack the bat. This will knock the bat out and cause it to suffer serious bodily damage, although once when a bat really bothered my brother he whacked it and it seemed to go into some kind of painful convulsion. He had to kill it by taking it outside and running over it with his car to put it out of its misery. Again, resist the urge to whack the bat.

However, if you are a mom and are home alone, forget everything I just said and get out of the house with your kids and cell phone and call 911. They will get the SPCA or some kind of pest removal out to your home to get the bat out safely. Don't take chances, especially with kids around. Getting rid of rodents is a man's job, not ours.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Mama Bigfoot

I was looking at my closet the other day and realized that I have very few shoes that fit me. I used to be a 7 1/2 and now I'm a 8 or 8 1/2, depending on the style or make. Each time I got pregnant, my shoe size grew a half inch. Although I don't need another reason to tell myself to stop having kids (three already exhaust me, four would kill me), I think preventing myself from growing another shoe size should be a good enough deterrent. Not that I don't mind going shoe shopping after each delivery, it's just that the more kids you have, the less time you have to do things like shoe shopping. Last time I went to Aerosoles, the twins cried the entire time and my son threw a tantrum because he wanted to go to the Disney store. I got the shoes, but had to endure their whining the whole time.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Up Shit Creek

My life may not be as titillating as a celeb's, but I do need to vent about these god damn stomach flu viruses that plague our children. I didn't know there were so many different strains of it. Last time my kids got the stomach flu, they were vomiting for 3-4 days. This time, they had diarrhea for a week. Did I say 24 hour stomach bug earlier? It was more like seven days of hell. My poor three year old had it the worst, he was literally on the toilet 20 times a day, not including the five times he had to get up in the middle of the night (I had to revert him to wearing pull-ups at night to keep the clean-up from the "accidents" easier). The girls were leaking out of their diapers and the mess creeped up halfway up their backs. I swear they got this from the Curious George event we went to at Barnes and Nobles last Saturday. There had to be at least 50 kids there and everyone was touching the trains, books, arts and crafts, each other, you name it. I didn't wash their hands after we came home and before they ate their lunch. I think that's what did it. It was really bad. Finally, today they are feeling better and the frequency of stools has lessened considerably. I hope it doesn't come back again. Ever.

Da-Nile ain't just a river...

Da-yum. While I've been on shit duty for the past week, so much has happened in the juicy world of gossip. Katie Holmes has been walking all over town in her onesie getting her little alien jacked up with yet more caffeine, Paris Hilton's secret stash is on sale, and Lindsay Lohan's pathetic life has been revealed in her diary. Horse pills, that's how she and all the other skeletons like Duff and Richie lost all that weight, it was freaking horse pills (better known as Clenbuterol to the doctors that prescribe this crap for humans). And thanks to Lindsay, we all know that Jared Leto is very well endowed and having sex with him is "suffering". Damn. So many secrets revealed. Maybe it would be better if celebrities didn't document their secrets in writing or on video, then they could actually remain secrets. They should know by now that once a record has been made of your nasty thoughts (or deeds in Paris's situation) it's most definitely going to get out and spread like wildfire all over the internet. Fame can be a real bitch. [photo source: dirtyflower]