Thursday, June 29, 2006

Water Water Everywhere

I'm so tired of rain. I swear, I wouldn't be suprised if I see Noah's Ark float by soon. It's been raining for almost a week here in Upstate NY, and many cities are having flood problems. The main road my husband is going to need to use to pick us up from my parent's house has been shut down both ways for three days, so in a way, we're stranded for the time being. Today it was sunny for a short time so I decided to take a walk outside with the kids (well I didn't really decide, they just kept complaining they haven't gone anywhere for a while so they made me take them outside). Ten minutes later, not only did it start raining, it started hailing! So back inside we went.

So now we're back inside the house. Luckily, our house is built on a mountain so the water would have to get at least 40 feet high to even start flooding our basement, but others have not been so lucky.

I'm totally zapped of energy right now and don't have the mental coherence to blog much today, but I do want to mention that I managed to catch a little bit of The View this morning to see the aftermath of the drama that happened yesterday. I don't know why everyone focuses on Star being the bitch on this show when clearly it's that hard-core Republican Elizabeth Hasselbeck. If anyone should be terminated from this show it should be her. I can't stand her smug face or her Miss Know-it-all commentary. I think now that Star is gone, Elizabeth is going to be filling in as the one everyone hates on this show.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Newsflash: Aishwarya Rai Is Human and Manages Facial Hair Just Like Normal Women

photo source: The Bastardly

Aside from Moelicious's hilarious commentary on this pic I found over at The Bastardly, this picture finally puts to rest that question most of us have on our mind when we see Aish, "Does she or doesn't she?" And by that I mean, bleach her sideburns? The answer is YES, Aishwarya Rai does bleach her sideburns, but she waxes the 'stache.

Urmila and Manish Malhotra are a Couple


No they haven't admitted it yet, but they might as well. Everytime they go out, they're with each other. And they always have that "we just did the nasty" look on their face.




Urmila honey, I know he's your stylist and all, and you're trying really hard to give me that "honestly, we're just really good friends" look, but Manish is ruining the sham for you. Not only does he look like he's wearing Michael Jackson's jacket from Thriller, he's still rocking the "we just did the nasty together" look on his face. Admit it girlfriend, you're BUSTED!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Dreadlocks Gone Wild

photo source: The Bastardly

This photo is supposed to be a paparazzi shot of Jake Gyllenhaal, but the girl in the back with the nasty ass hair is stealing the show. Seriously, what is that growing on her head?

Agent Provocateur Nursing Bras

"Feed me!"


Have you been wondering where Gwen Stefani has been getting all those funky nursing bras from? I was. So I turned to my bible on mommy chic, Celebrity Baby Blog, to find out. Apparently, all of Gwen's nursing bras are from Agent Provocateur's new Maternity/Nursing line. The bra she sports in this photo is the leopard print one that costs $108. I've seen other photos of her recently where she's wearing the black one as well. Nice. Nursing bras have sure come a long way from when I was nursing my kids.

I agree, the price is steep for a nursing bra. I bet that's why she's wearing a dress that exposes it, so that either everyong can see her $108 dollar bra or so that Agent Provocateur can get the free advertising. I bet when she goes home, she slips into those comfy Bravados the rest of us wear around the house.

Drive By Racism

The kids and I went to the Islamic Center with my parents yesterday. It was graduation day for all the kids in the mosque's Sunday School and there was tons of yummy food to eat. I got to meet with alot of the old family friends I grew up with and the kids had a good time playing with other children their age. It would have been a perfect day except for the drive by racism we experienced as we were getting ready to go back home. It happened when I was standing outside in the parking lot with my Dad and the kids and some other people from the Center. Some rednecks in a beat-up red pick-up truck drove by on the road in front of us and yelled "SAND NIGGERS!" to us out their window. I don't need to explain how rude and insensitive this was, it's just a shame that this kind of racism still exists today. I'm just glad my son didn't hear what was said and didn't ask me "What did he say?". He was too busy talking with some other preschoolers. I'm naively hoping that by the time he's older, racism and racial slurs will be a thing of the past. I don't think I'll ever be ready to explain this kind of uncouth behaviour to my children.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Weekend Eye Candy: Anderson Cooper


If I had my way with Anderson Cooper, I'd tickle him just to hear him giggle. He sounds so cute when he giggles. I know he's probably gay, but in my dreams.....he's not. [Photo Source: JustJared.]

Tom Cruise is Evil

I'm sure alot of people have probably seen this video already, but hey, it was new for me. If there was ever anyone more in need of a Psychiatrist, it's Tom.


Thursday, June 22, 2006

What in the World is She Wearing?


Is Mary Kate Olsen on crack? I can't even call her clothes homeless chic anymore because even homeless people wear better clothes than this. I'm gonna call this crack ho chic, because that's what she looks like, a 4 ft.-Cousin It-look-alike crack ho. The dress looks 10 sizes too big and 50 years old. And the flip-flops, I won't even go there. But LOL at the guy in the background with the WTH look on his face.

When Botox Goes Bad

Here's Brittany Murphy publicizing her new role as Tinkerbell. Apparently, the new version of Tinkerbell is going to be a botoxed mafia wife with dark roots from Edison, NJ and highly arched eyebrows.

Skeletor Wears Daisy Dukes


Nice shorts Posh... are they from Gap Kids?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Riddle Me This Batman

How is it that a news anchor with a voice that sounds like permanent laryngitis is able to work as a news anchor? When I first started watching Rita Cosby I thought she must have laryngitis. Then a couple of weeks passed, and her voice still showed no improvement. I soon realized, this is just the way she is, she's permanently hoarse. I find her voice so distracting and irritating, I can't focus on what she's talking about. As she's blabbing on and on in her newscast, the only thing I can think about is why her voice sounds so fucked up. It's a shame, because she covers alot of interesting stories and I'd like to listen to her, but her voice just gets in the way. So I change the channel and watch Anderson Cooper on CNN instead. He's easier on the ears and the eyes.

Nicole Richie Quote of the Day

"Damn, those Pakistanis are not cool with the shit talking."
- on living under the rules of the Ghauri family in Simple Life 4.


Bitch, please. You obviously haven't been around enough Pakistanis.


Crazy Tom Wants More Imaginary Kids

Oh no, Tom Cruise wants more kids! Ten to be exact. If Katie doesn't make a run for it now, she's going to have to spend the next seven years with a pillow wrapped around her waist and "give birth" to more imaginary kids. Run Katie Run!

Angelina Admits to Getting Tired from Mothering


From last night's interview with Anderson Cooper, I was happy find out that my favorite globe-trotting philanthropic super mom Angelina Jolie is human after all:

"Today I was breastfeeding, tired, and thinking, God, I really don't know how I'm going to get myself together to be thinking for this interview." ( from CNN Transcript of Anderson Cooper 360)

Despite her new mom sleep deprivation, Angelina managed to give a very good interview last night. When she first adopted Maddox, I couldn't believe someone would actually hand a baby to a punk rock girl who toted around a vial of blood, but she's changed dramatically since then. I think Angelina's blossomed into a really beautiful human being, inside and out.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Big Gay Al Tries His Best to Look Straight


If these two ever appeared in a Bollywood film, the song lyrics would go a little something like this:

(The song would be sung to the theme of South Park's "I'm Super")

Big Gay Al:
I’m so sorry
my stomach-stapled wife
But I just can’t feel too bad for you right now.
Because I’m feeling
So insanely super
That even the fact that you can’t dress
Can’t bring me down

Sunddenly, gay background singers appear singing:
Yes he’s super and he’s proud to be gay
One day he'll come out of the closet and he'll swing it our way!

Big Gay Al:
Yes, I'm super!
So very super
Coz everything is super when you're gaaaaayyy!


While were on the topic, Tom Cruise is feeling super too, thanks for asking! Check him out in this video here.


Just Say No to Leftovers

You know that eating your toddler's leftovers isn't good for your diet, but you did ever wonder exactly how many extra calories you're packing on by eating just a few tablespoons of mac and cheese and nibbling on sandwich crusts? According to the July 2006 issue of Fitness magazine, it's as much as 200-300 calories a day. If you're eating leftovers for three toddlers, as I have been, that's as much as 900 extra calories a day! A person of my height and weight would have to workout on the elliptical trainer for about 3 hours straight just to burn off the leftovers. Again, that's just to burn off the leftovers, the existing weight wouldn't even be touched during this 3-hour marathon!

I've gotta start dishing out less food to the kids to prevent leftovers in the first place. Our pediatrician has repeatedly told me that my expectation of how much they should be eating is much greater than their appetities but I never listen. I always feel like they are just going to starve themselves if they don't eat this one meal. I'm slowly reconditioning the way I think but it's hard, especially since I grew up with a mom who always insisted we clean our plates because so many children in this world are dying of hunger and it's such a "sin" to throw food away. (By the way, I never force my kids to finish their plates, I know that's wrong, instead I let them eat as much as they want and then eat everyone's leftovers like a human garbage disposal because I hate to see food being wasted). I know, I need serious therapy, but starting today I'm going to try my hardest to dole out less food to the kids, say "no" to leftovers, and say "yes" to pilates.

Monday, June 19, 2006

This link is so money


There's been so much focus on Brangelina lately that we've totally forgotten about Vaughniston. I love this little parody of what these two dimwits probably talk about on Liquid Generation. It's so money. CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK.

My New Diaper Bag: The Fresh Stripes Un-Diaper Bag

The mall we went to in Boston this weekend had a Babystyle store in it. I've never been to an actual Babystyle, in the past I just stuck with ordering from their website. It was a really nice store and a great place to get all the "celebrity mommy" stuff you see people like Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow toting around. Plus they have a special kids play area where the kids can play in a safe environment while you shop. (After my "Britney" moment below, I was extra cautious about this for the remainder of the day. From now on, every time I do something a dumb mommy would do, I'm going to refer to it as a "Britney".)

The best time to buy something at Babystyle is when they have a sale because everything is very expensive at regular price. I picked up this great bag there, The Fresh Stripes Un-Diaper bag. It's perfect for light trips and is one of the few bags I've seen that actually has slots for three sippy cups/bottles. This was really important for me, because I need to carry three Munchkin straw cups for my kids every time I go out and my Land's End Do It All Diaper Bag has stopped doing it all for me. It only holds two bottles, and the changing pad, which is located in the outside pocket, always mysteriously gets covered with cookie crumbs and crud. I always have to wipe it clean before I change a baby on it. With the Un-Diaper Bag, the changing pad is located in a zipped pocket inside the bag so it always stays clean. Plus, the entire bag can be wiped clean with a wet wipe or a bottle of Anti-Bacterial spray and a paper towel. It's a plastic coated canvas bag (it's laminated) with red pleather trim. Regular price was $85, but I got it on sale for $45. I didn't know this bag was sold out on the internet, they had tons on clearance in the physical store, but I did find someone selling it for about $12 on Ebay.


While I was in Babystyle, I also took a look at the latest "must have" celebrity diaper bag, The Gigi Shoulder Bag by Storksak. This is the bag that Angelina Jolie bought for baby Shiloh, and other celebs like Kate Winslet and Liv Tyler have also been seen carrying this bag. I liked this bag alot, it is a tote style bag that also has room for three bottles inside (for Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh) plus has the added security of a zip top closure, BUT..... it's $198. I'm not spending that much on a diaper bag. Also, it has Teflon coating, and according to a post I read a while back on Aisha's blog, chickens died when they came in contact with Teflon. Who knows what effect it will have on humans? Ah, you know I'm just making excuses for not getting the Gigi, because if this bag was $45 I probably would have scooped it up. That Teflon theory probably has some holes in it anyway. The biggest deterrent to the Gigi for someone with my budget is the celebrity price tag of $200 bucks. But no biggie, I'm quite happy with my funky new plastic laminated bag. Red pleather rocks!

Oil Heir Seeks Help for Oily Hair


Excerpt from Brandon Davis's conversation with an endocrinologist: "Help me doctor! I can't stop sticking my greasy head up my own ass!"



Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Shiloh's New Crib: The Stokke Sleepi


Brangelina has arrived in the U.S., and TMZ has a clip on their site showing movers bringing in the crib baby Shiloh will be sleeping in.



I'm done having kids, but I think if I had to do it over again, I would love to get one of these cribs. Babycenter.com has a great deal on this crib, and they are shipping for free too. At $849, it is pricey, but it converts from a bassinet to crib to toddler bed and best of all, you can roll it through a standard doorway. So when the baby is ready to move out of your room, just roll the crib down the hall into the nursery. Or when the baby wants to move back into your room, roll her bed back down the hall and park it next your bed. Then hope she doesn't climb out and jump into yours.

We're Here....For Now

Well, we made it. And I'm finding that my formerly Smalltown, U.S.A. hometown is looking more and more like a developed suburb everytime I come here. The biggest attraction here used to be our 24-hour Walmart, but now even Walmart has expanded to become a Supercenter, complete with groceries, and a Sam's Club next door. We even have a Babies R Us and Barnes and Noble. It's like I never left Jersey. The only thing missing here is access to Indian food, they have not one Indian food establishment here, surprising even though 60% of all the doctors in the city trace their roots to a South Asian country.

We're going up to Boston this weekend and have to prepare to attend a wedding when we come back so postings here are going to be a little scattered. My Russian cleaning lady is driving me crazy. She usually comes over to clean our house every other week on Wednesdays, but since I'm not there and the husband is in Europe, I need to tell her not to come, but when I call her she hangs up the phone saying, "Me no English." I'm trying to get her son on the phone, he's the one I usually talk to when we have to make schedule changes, but I can't get in touch with him. She's a legal immigrant living here for the past 10 years, you think she could learn English already???? Damn. Well she's just going to have to drive up to the house and go back home when no one answers the door. I'd love to fire her and replace her with someone who speaks English, but first, I don't know if she will understand her termination request, and second, I think she's connected with the Russian mafia. I don't want to get in the bad with the Russian mafia. My neighbor found her for me and she is trustworthy so I'm kind of stuck with her for now.

On a side note, I hate kids music. I also hate that I accidentally found a channel on SIRIUS satellite radio devoted entirely to kids music, called Kidstuff. Compared to the crap they play on that channel, Laurie Berkner sounds like Gwen Stefani.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House We Go

I'm on a blogapalooza right now, I knew I shouldn't have had that coffee before bed. I'm going to be going to Upstate New York to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks so I'm packing for that tonight. My husband is going to Europe on business and there is no way I'm staying home alone with these three little monsters. It's not that we live in an unsafe area, it's just that I rely on the big guy to get my groceries and help me take care of the kids when he gets home. I've managed short business trips alone okay, but it's draining to be the only one taking care of the kids 24/7 with no one to give you a break, and a month is way too long for me to manage alone, so it's off to my parent's house I go. If the kids were a few years older, we probably could have turned this business trip into a family vacation, but for now, we'll have to settle for Grandma's house.

I have to say I'm going to be relying on my Laurie Berkner CD's on the way up. My kids used to be okay with whatever we were listening to in the car, but now ever since they've been exposed to Laurie Berkner it's all they want to hear. My husband is more into "monk music" like Enigma or Depeche Mode and the kids are just not having any of that. They want to listen to We are the Dinosaurs, Marching, Marching over and over again. It's cute how each child calls her something different. My son, who is four, calls her by her proper name, Laurie Berkner, but my two year olds who are just learning to pronounce words properly have different names for her. Z. calls her "Lawie Burger" and H. just calls her "Bacon". I can understand the "Burger" from Berkner, but "Bacon"? She comes up with the funniest pronounciations for the words she learns. I don't care what she call it though as long as she doesn't scream for the 5 hour drive up there. The husband will have to listen to his monk music when he's in Europe.

World's Most Sought After Baby Pictures


The way People magazine was selling at the supermarket today you'd think the child of God was born. Shiloh, Shiloh, everyone wanted to see the Shiloh pictures. I finally got a copy of People and yes, the price of the magazine was worth it. The pictures are just adorable, could this family be any more beautiful? Little Shiloh inherited the best of both parents, her daddy's blue eyes and her mommy's gorgeous lips. If you haven't gotten a copy of People yet, you can see the full set by clicking on Vi's site HERE.

Jemima Khan and Hugh Grant are Engaged

Was it any surprise these two were engaged? What everyone has been speculating has finally been confirmed by an insider at the Daily Mail.

"Hugh apparently proposed during a holiday in Barbados and a source has revealed: “It was romantic: he went down on one knee,” before presenting Jemima with a sapphire and diamond ring."-Source

The only reason Jemima is not wearing the ring is because she doesn't want to be questioned about it.......by ex-husband Imran Khan. It's no secret he's not too thrilled about the prospect of Hugh Grant becoming a stepdad to his sons.

Reese's Hot Dress

photo: JustJared

I don't know how long the Blogger fairy will be working tonight so I'll do a picture post while I can.

I just have to say I absolutely LOVE this dress. It's so cute and flowy and I love the color and the stones on it. I know alot of people are speculating that Reese is wearing this because she may be pregnant but I think she's just wearing it because it's comfortable. I think it'll be great for covering up my not so fab abs too.



Velvet Marissa Semi Precious Dress, available at Shop Intuition for $178.

There is still hope for the gym

After about a month and a half of trading off "gym night" with the husband, both of us finally burned out. It was draining both of us to put in a full day of work and then have to work out at 10 pm at night while one of us put the kids down for bed. Our evenings are packed as it is preparing dinner, serving/feeding the kids, cleaning up the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, and then giving the kids a bath. When you add to that another Herculean task like driving to the gym, working out for an hour, driving back home, showering, trying to get to sleep by midnight....there came a point were we just couldn't do it anymore. Last Monday after dinner my husband asked me to go to the gym because he was too tired. He'd rather give the kids their bath and put them to bed, along with himself. I hadn't gone to the gym all weekend, and he was keeping track that it was my "turn" that night. It was only 9:00 pm, and I was exhausted. I told him I didn't want to go to the gym, that all I want to do is go to sleep too. I was seriously thinking about quitting. After a little over a month, I hadn't lost any weight and I was completely dependant upon my husband watching the kids to even go. What was the use?

So today, we decided to give the gym another shot. We decided to go at the same time together after an early dinner at 5:30 pm. The gym's babysitting room was open until 9 pm tonight and my husband said he would sit with the children while I work out for half hour and when I was done, I could sit with the kids in the babysitting room and he could go work out. Given our prior experience with our twins separation anxiety and the rude babysitters, we thought at least they wouldn't cry if they saw one of us in the room. My son is fine with staying in the room without us, but the girls, I guess it's because they're two years old, they act as if we have left them for good and are never coming back to get them.

So today we tried trading off watching the kids in the gym itself, and it worked! In one hour, both of us got a chance to exercise and the twins didn't freak out on us. When I was done exercising, I came to the babysitting room to give my husband a chance to workout and the kids were fine. No crying, no stress. They played nicely in the room and would occasionally come and hug me (probably to make sure I was real and was still there) and then would get back to playing with the toys. I also got a chance to talk to the babysitters in the room at the time, who were new. I asked them what happened to the babysitters that used to work here and guess what I found out? THE BABYSITTING BITCHES GOT FIRED! Apparently I wasn't the only one they were rude to. Since they were only high school girls with little tolerance for children anyway, they were replaced with babysitters who are actually mothers themselves or former daycare workers. Way to go gym manager! In fact I had such a pleasant conversation with these new sitters I asked them their schedule and now I'm going to start trying to use the babysitting service in the gym again. If I get my workouts out of the way during the morning, at least we won't be so crunched in the evening and my husband could get a chance to work out more often during the weekdays. The babysitter I spoke to, Eileen, said that as a mom of kids who've never been in daycare and are very attached, I should start off with daily visits at the same time and sit with the kids five minutes before leaving to workout. Then workout for 5-10 minutes and come back, gradually adding five minutes to workouts each day. I figure it works out because I was already only going 2 or 3 times a week for an hour each time, if I go daily and gradually build up to doing 30 minute workouts, I will probably get the same or even more benefits than now. Eileen was just a delight to talk to, and she's a mom herself so she was very helpful on giving me exercise tips and how to manage working out and balancing taking care of children. She's like my light at the end of the tunnel. Oh and bonus, I weighed myself today and found out I lost 3 lbs. It doesn't sound like much, but I lost as much as a whole chicken. I guess I've been losing about a pound a week, I wish it could go away faster, but I'm told slow weight loss actually stays off longer.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Resistance is Futile

My kids two favorite shows are The Wonder Pets and Pinky Dinky Doo. I was finally getting used to parking my kids in front of the TV for these two half hour periods so I could do other things around the house like load the dishwasher, do laundry, or....get sucked into the internet. But a few days ago, Nick Jr. had to go and change their program schedule on us, so we were forced to go to the Disney Channel and see what was on over there. Guess what we found out? The Doodlebops are back! I thought the kids were over this craze but now they are requesting to see it again. And hence I must watch too.

I've noticed a couple of changes since the first season. First of all, they have toned down the makeup ALOT, and they got rid of Mazz. They replaced her with a new Aretha look-alike called Jazz. The one thing that still remains the same, however, is the freaky stigmata on all their hands. The stigmata really needs to go.


"STIGMATA!"

Funny Read of the Night

photo source: santaletters4u.com

I love it when lawyers send out cease and desist letters to people who just don't give a shit. Especially when those letters are coming from someone whose last name is Jollymore, I mean how can you possibly take a cease and desist order seriously from someone with a name like Nick Jollymore? I don't know why, but all I can see is Santa Claus (a.k.a. Jolly Old Saint Nick) writing this letter from the North Pole.

Gawker.com is one of the websites that refuses to take down an exclusive picture of uber-celebrities Brad and Angelina cooing over their newborn daughter Shiloh. People magazine paid alot of money for these photos dammit, almost $4.1 million, you should wait in line and buy Hello or People magazine if you want to see a picture of Shiloh, heaven forbid you get to see it for free on the internet.

I'm still going to buy the magazine when it hits the stands becaues I'm not satisfied by just one pic, but you can read about Gawker's litigation troubles with Santa Claus and sneak a peek of baby Shiloh by clicking HERE.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Don't Let This Happen To You


The readers of D-Listed are having a field day trying to explain why Paris's face doesn't match her chest, but as someone who's actually had this disaster happen to them, I'll tell you what's really causing this mess: MAC Studio Fix foundation. I saw The Simple Life and Paris was using MAC Studio Fix all the time. The problem with Studio Fix is that it is loaded with titanium dioxide (a type of sunscreen) and is a nightmare for photography. Titanium dioxide reacts with the camera flash to make it look like you dunked your face in the flour jar. Don't let this happen to you, ESPECIALLY when you are planning to have professional photos taken. For a more natural looking foundation that won't react like this, try sticking to a liquid or creme foundation, with a light dusting of Laura Mercier Translucent Powder. I personally swear by Face Base by Vasanti Cosmetics. It's a powder and foundation all in one like Studio Fix, but without the photo damaging effects of titanium dioxide. Just use your own sunscreen or a moisturizer with sunscreen underneath it to get sun protection.

Posh's Knockers Defy Gravity


This is for my girl FBT.... THIS is what fake boobies look like.

Friday, June 02, 2006

The Most Expensive Bikini in America



Last week when I went to the beach, I was so glad I saw no one wearing this. I think the people who wear these kind of suits don't go to public beaches, they go to places like Ibiza or Saint Tropez on their private yachts. This bikini my friends, is by Chanel, and at $1,545 is the most expensive bikini in United States. So what do you get for paying over a grand for a bikini? Not much in material, but you do get a delicate necklace and waist band made of real gold. Chanel considers it to be so elegant it can be worn as an evening dress to a cocktail party (again, probably a party in Ibiza or Saint Tropez). If you're aching for this bikini, you'd better hurry. There are only four left in the whole country.




photo: Liz Sullivan/Splash News

This is the second most expensive bikini, also by Chanel, available for $585. It's the "playful" logo bikini with little C's and hearts in different colors on it. I could probably see Paris Herpes in one of these. Also featured in this photo are the world's most expensive sunglasses by designer Moss Lipow. They are Ostrich and Alligator frames retailing for $3,800. I think anyone who pays that much for sunglasses is an idiot. I bought a pair of $5 Old Navy sunglasses last week and already lost them. I would die if I lost glasses worth $3,800.


Here's a sample of other "must-have" swimsuits for the rich and famous this summer:


Christian Dior

For the desperate housewife trying to seduce the pool boy



Stella McCartney

When a Girdle meets Fashion Forms



This has nothing to do with bikinis, I just like to see Prince William in a Speedo. Polo anyone?



Louis Vuitton

This I actually kind of like. It's cute and great for covering up a little bulge in the belly. But I'm afraid of what will happen to it once it actually touches water.



photo credits: style.com

Fug Overboard



Reese wears horsies and Paris wears anchors. Both look awful.

K-Fed's Extreme Makeover

Before


After

It's amazing what a bar of soap and a comb can do for Mr. Britney Popozao Spears ya'll! Too bad he still looks sleazy.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

How Much Fear Factor Can You Handle?

While on the subject of food, I was thinking about all the different foods I've tried in my life. I have to say, some of them could appear on Fear Factor.

Here's some of the stuff I've eaten that would make some people want to barf.

  1. Pakistani Cow Feet Stew (known as Pai in Pakistan). Hey, don't knock it till you try it, Cow Feet are high in protein and according to my dad who is a doctor, qualify to be on the South Beach Diet.
  2. Cow Brains (known as Bhaija or Maghaz in the Middle East). I remember my Grandmother preparing these on Eid once, she removed all the veins and cooked it with some onions, garlic, turmeric, and red pepper. I was squeamish at first, but then after I tried it, asked for seconds.
  3. Alligator Nuggets. I ate these while out on an audit in Denver, Colorado. I think the name of restaurant was Papa Does or something like that. Sorry to sound like a cliche, but alligator meat tastes just like chicken.
  4. Octopus sushi. To some this may not seem fear factorish enough, but to me, I couldn't believe I was eating octopus. I didn't like it though, I won't go back for seconds on this one.

The only dish I refused to eat, along with my siblings who didn't have enough fear factor to manage even Pai, was Cow Tongue. Yuck, that was the nastiest thing I ever saw. My mom tried to disguise it the next day by turning it into a rice pilau dish and told us it was mutton pilau but we were not fooled. I am never going to eat tongue. I draw the line at something that used to be able to taste food itself. I also draw the line at a dish called Kat a Kut. It's supposedly the stomach and intestines of a goat or cow chopped up and fried with lots of spices to cover up the fact your eating entrails. Nasty.

So now that I've outed myself as a freak, what fear factor "delicacies" have you tried?

Trying to Raise Kids Who Love Spicy Food

If a child doesn't like to eat spicy ethnic food, does that somehow diminish their ethnicity? Does eating a particular type of cuisine or food define your ethnicity in any way? I think not. If you saw what kind of foods my kids love to eat, you would definitely label them as Italian or Chinese children, not Pakistani-American. They love anything with pasta and noodles, and could literally live off fried rice and chinese curries. But when it comes to Pakistani food, which always has a touch of green or red pepper, they can't handle most of it. This has been bothering my husband alot lately, who fears our kids are losing their culture. Hearing the war stories of his friends' kids doesn't help much either, most of whom brag about their kids' abilities to eat spicy foods like it was some badge of honor or degree of desiness.

Here's a sample of the words these "proud" parents have to say about their kids:

"My kid only eats desi food"

"My kid asks for extra red pepper, it's not spicy enough"

"My kid has been eating spicy food since he was 8 months old"

"I don't need to make a separate meal for my toddler, he eats whatever the rest of the family is eating, even if it's spiced up your ass Nihari"

Or here's the best one:

"My kids don't have a problem with spicy food, they're desi" (Good for you, now pardon me while I find something non-spicy from the buffet for the Italians I gave birth to.)

It's not that I haven't tried introducing Pakistani food to the kids. They actually enjoy mildly spiced lentil curries and the non-spicy rice pilaf dishes I make for them. Their favorite Pakistani dishes are dal chawwal (lentils and rice), kitchri, mattar pulau, chicken pulau, and parathas (I buy the frozen ready made kind, you think I have the time to make these breads from scratch???) So I think it's fair to say they are giving the Pakistani cuisine a chance, but they like the spices to be mild to none. They do not like food to be spiced the way my husband likes it, food so spicy it makes your nose run. I've tried to feed them these spiced up foods, but they can't manage it, and after guzzling down glasses of water, refuse to eat it again. Then I end up having to make pasta and sauce (again) because they are still hungry. As long as I make the food mild, the kids will eat it, the husband will just have to deal with the hot chillies on the side.

Also, the kids deserve a break, they are only 4 and 2 right now, they have the rest of their lives to eat spicy food. Just because they are rejecting spicy chicken curry before they've entered pre-school doesn't mean they will never try it, or love it. My kids used to hate cheese and now they love it, tastes change throughout a person's lifetime, but certainly enjoying the cuisine of a culture other than your own doesn't mean you're a sellout. As for those "Super Desi Moms" (I'm sure you all know at least one), I used to let them get to me, making me feel like I seriously messed up because my kids can't manage a seekh kabob, but I brush it off now. If bragging about your kids' abilities to eat spicy foods is your high point in life then more power to you. My kids are already very picky eaters, I don't want to complicate my life further by trying to get them to accept chillies when it's not essential to their nutrition.