What Happens When a Four Year Old Grabs a Cell Phone

While the girls are still using my cell phone as a toy, my four year old son has figured out how it actually works. He has learned how to read a little bit, and can recognize all the names of his relatives in my address book. When he wants to call someone and talk to them, he pulls up their name out of the address book and presses the SEND button. I find it fascinating because he hasn't really learned how to properly read a book yet, but he has memorized what certain combinations of letters spell, mainly his own name and the names of his relatives and friends. It started when he started recognizing E-L-M-O spells Elmo. I think he treats the words and names in my address book more as logos than words, but oh well. It's good to know in case of an emergency, he'll be able to use my cell phone to call for help.

Until then, he calls people up to have mindless conversations with them. He's obsessed with cars, so his topic of conversation always revolves around BMWs (his dream car). My husband got him one of those free information DVD's that explains how a BMW works, the specs, and shows the crash safety tests with the crash test dummies sitting in the car (the video wanted to explain how safe the car was.) He is intrigued by this video and watches it as regularly as Blues Clues.

My son's daily targets for conversation are my husband, my sister, and my brother. Occasionally, he will call my mom, but only if he wants her to buy him a gift. He's getting really spoiled by his grandparents, I wish I could tell them to stop getting him toys, but it makes my parents happy to give him and my girls gifts, so I'll let it go for awhile.

So the other day, my brother was picked as the target of the day for conversation. I was folding laundry upstairs and my son picks up the phone and dials my brother. My son knows from overhearing my conversations with my brother that he has been having serious car trouble lately. Until his car gets fixed by the mechanic, he has been forced to ride his bike from his off-campus apartment to his college under the hot Florida sun.

R. was concerned, so decided he would call up his uncle and give him some advice. This is what he said:

R: "Hello, Mamoo? Hi. It's R. I heard your car broke down, why don't you just go buy a Toyota Yaris? It gets 40 miles to the gallon."

My brother: "I can't R., I don't have the money."

R: "Well, why don't you just return this car and go buy a BMW? Then you won't have to ride your bike to school and faint in the sun."

My brother: "BMW?? That's really expensive R, I can't afford that."

R continues: "But the crash test dummies were in the car and were okay after hitting the wall. It has a DVD burner in it too."

(The volume on my cell phone is high and all I can hear now is my brother chuckling on the other end)

R. turns serious, and says, "Look Mamoo, you're not listening to me, I'm telling you something. You need to go buy a BMW, because you need a car, and you need a BMW okay? A BMW X5. So go buy one. Now study hard and do well in school. Goodbye."