My kids watch alot of TV during the winter months. I know the fresh air is good for them and I should be taking them outside daily, but I am the cook, diaper changer, clothes changer, house maid, driver, everything. No one can move a muscle unless I move, and these days I'm so zapped of energy I don't really care to do anything but drink highly caffinated beverages in front of the fireplace and TV. Sleep is out of the question because if I do go down for a nap, I end up sleeping longer than the kids and I wake up dazed, confused, and late for the next "to do" on the schedule (laundry, cooking dinner, the list is endless). The husband helps out on the weekends so that's the only time I get to go out in the real world because three little rascals are just too much for me to handle alone.
That being said, while I'm cleaning or cooking or doing some household errand, my kids spend time with the electronic babysitter, the TV. We have become familiar with all the kids shows on Noggin, Nick Jr., Disney, and PBS. Our current favorite is Caillou. These shows are tailored for little children and very wholesome and educational. But there are many things about them that would make most rational adults say "What the....?"
Among them, my ponderings:
- Why is Caillou bald, he's four and he still has no hair? I hope he's not on chemo.
- Why does Dora's mother let her go wander in the jungle all by herself for hours? Isn't she afraid she might get kidnapped by some troll?
- Same for Diego, he gets chased by smiling sharks and barely makes it home alive, yet his parents haven't got a clue. Big sister Daisy isn't much help watching the show from her control room.
- What is with Sportacus's pants? What is he packing in there?
- Amongst the disguises Robbie Rotten stores in his closet to wreak havoc on the residents of "Lazytown", one is of Marie Antoinette. Is Robbie Rotten a cross-dresser? Transvestite? Should he even be in the same town as little children?
- The video for the Wiggles song "Farmer Brown" with the little girls dressed up as horses swishing their tails is creepy as hell, it needs to removed from the Disney channel pronto.
- Those kids who play with Barney look too old to be playing with Barney.
- Steve, from old episodes of Blues Clues, looks like he is wearing lipstick. (Steve vehemently denies he is gay by the way, check out what he's up to now here.)
- Dee Dee Doodle from The Doodlebops is a bigger diva than J. Lo.
- Charlie and Lola is the worst cartoon ever, it should be banned. Charlie is too young to be entrusted to take care of his little sister. This cartoon reeks of parental negligence, CPS needs to be called stat.